May

11

Sink or Swim: Call and The New Intern

May 11, 2007 | 21 Comments

(I had call on my first night as an intern almost two years ago and as of last week I am officially and forever done with call. It’s been a long two years and I won’t miss it. I’m working the 11PM to 9AM shift in the Emergency Department this month and I marvel at [...]

May

4

The Monkey’s Other Paw and Other Random Things

May 4, 2007 | 24 Comments

Grow a Pair
There he lies, six-foot-five inches of corn-fed American manhood, a horizontal slab of sinew and muscle with a chiseled chin, tousled hair, and perfect teeth whining like a little girl because the nurse is late with his pain medications.
For God’s sake buddy, didn’t you get the memo? Of manhood, stoicism is the [...]

May

3

Guilty Pleasure

May 3, 2007 | 16 Comments

(With apologies to Graham-PB)
AMA
Against the possibility of your thinking poorly of me, let me say at the outset that I did everything I was supposed to do and even a little more. I argued, cajoled, threatened, and I even told him the usual lies that keep people believing in our ability to cheat the [...]

Apr

20

Random Ramblings

April 20, 2007 | 27 Comments

That Doctor
It’s official, I have become “That Doctor.”
You know, the guy who told them that their father only had three months to live and here he is, six months later, being wheeled in by his triumphant family. I mean, he looks almost the same as when I saw him the last time, maybe [...]

Apr

9

A Letter to an Attending

April 9, 2007 | 41 Comments

Who do You Think You Are?
Dear Sir or Madame,
I am exceedingly glad to be done with the rotation. I have been a resident for almost two years and that month was perhaps the worst experience of my medical career. You made what should have been a moderately unpleasant experience which is what we expect [...]

Mar

31

Just a Few Quick Things

March 31, 2007 | 9 Comments

Baby Jail
Remember how I told you that residents are underpaid for the work they do and how we are worth a lot more to the hospital than the monthly reimbursement the hospital gets from Medicare?
Well, like most things there are exceptions and I am living that exception this month as I lollygag my way through [...]

Mar

23

Ask Dr. Bear

March 23, 2007 | 20 Comments

(Just some recent questions that showed up in the mail bag.-PB)
What Exactly is Wrong With “Patient Care?” You use the phrase like it were some kind of swear word but isn’t this our purpose as residents?
Of course it is. But “Patient care” is one of those nebulous phrases which encompasses so much in [...]

Mar

18

Plantation Tales

March 18, 2007 | 6 Comments

Swing Low, Sweet Chariot
Old Toby wiped the sweat from his eyes, looked into the fluorescent lights, wiped his eyes again, and turned back to his work. At his side his fellow Resident Duke hummed a quiet spiritual in time to the rhythm of his pen.
“Sho’ is warm in dis’ heah ward, ain’t it Duke? [...]

Mar

13

Blackwhite

March 13, 2007 | 16 Comments

(After two years, I am almost done with call and most of the abusive practices associated with it so you’ll forgive me if I revisit these topics. I have a certain warmth for them and now that I am drawing to the end, I can give you a well-informed opinion. If these topics bothers you [...]

Mar

12

Random and Random-er

March 12, 2007 | 4 Comments

Not Even a Reach-Around
Residency programs should protect their residents. I’ll grant you that the long hours and low pay hard-wired into the system are not likely to be modified in my lifetime but a good program, one that is resident friendly, operates under the well-known prison rule that while I may be a bitch, [...]

Mar

3

A Few Random Things

March 3, 2007 | Leave a Comment

Sick as Stink
We eye each other warily, Mr. Kelso and I. His remaining leg dangles over the side of the bed as we face each other.
“So, Mr. Kelso, what brings you to see us today?”
From top to bottom Mr. Kelso is a walking pathology textbook. An impossible combination of signs, symptoms, and disease who is [...]

Dec

5

Sound and Fury

December 5, 2006 | 1 Comment

Family and Community Medicine
Latravia Kell was my favorite patient. I can’t think of one bad hand that life hadn’t dealt her but she was unfailingly cheerful, polite, and compliant with all of her treatments. I met her on my first day of family medicine clinic and saw her at least every month [...]

Nov

5

Humility 101

November 5, 2006 | Leave a Comment

Are You a Real Doctor?

They hand you your diploma and you are transformed from a medical student to a physician even though you don’t feel any different and you probably consider yourself to be something of an imposter. I know I did. For months after I graduated I had to suppress laughter whenever somebody called [...]

Oct

22

Random Madness I

October 22, 2006 | Leave a Comment

Free Chow

Free food. Just another thing to consider when selecting a residency program. I’m not saying this should be one of the top three factors guiding your ranking decisions but if you have no other way to differentiate programs, I’d go with the place where you can eat for free. If you think about it, [...]

Oct

11

An Exercise in Frivolity

October 11, 2006 | Leave a Comment

Why Suffer?
There are two broad categories to keep in mind when selecting and ranking residency programs. One type is at a large academic teaching hospital. The other is at a smaller “community” hospital that may have only a polite affiliation with a university or even none at all.
You can get good training at either type [...]

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