“The application is a lifeless thing — a few sheets of paper and a few numbers. The essay is the best way to breathe life into it.”

A frequent topic in the SDN Forums is the postgraduate application essay. In researching the field, we asked for help from one of the largest and well-known essay editing services, EssayEdge.

With the help of their editors, we co-developed a course for students which is available for free on SDN. Please click a link below to begin the course.

Each of the lessons should help you with a different aspect of the essay-writing process.

Enter the Workshop by selecting a link below:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Medical school admissions committees comprise anywhere from a handful to two dozen members, and are generally made up of a combination of full-time admissions staff, faculty, students, and doctors from the community.

There are often a variety of medical backgrounds represented, from clinical to general science, and from M.D.s to Ph.D.s to students. Because decisions are made by voting, this variety helps to eliminate bias and ensures that your application gets a fair trial.

Although there are a few schools that will set a cut-off point based on MCAT scores and GPA, it is rare that your application would be summarily rejected based on numbers alone. More likely, it will be read in its entirety by at least one of the members of the committee (usually one of the faculty members or second-year medical students). They will consider all aspects of your application, and if they like what they see, you will be invited to interview.

When we asked admissions officers how much time they usually spend looking at each essay during this first read, the answers ranged from three to ten minutes. Below are the comments of one admissions officer who assisted in the creation of this course:

“The time spent reading an essay can vary from a quick overview to a lengthy dissection of content and grammar. We will always look to the essay to prove interest in and research of the intended profession. If an applicant has an unexplained period of below-average grades in an otherwise strong academic record, we will look to the essay to explain the circumstances. If an applicant did some or all of their prerequisite coursework in another country, we will look to the essay to ensure strong English language skills. The standard of evaluation varies with each individual application package.”

We then asked how many statements admissions officers read in a day and their answers were not surprising: Admissions officers can (and often do) churn through 40 to 50 essays a day during peak weeks. This is more than just interesting; this is important. It means that your personal statement must stand apart from dozens of others read in the same day. The same two pages that will take you days or even weeks to put together may get only a few minutes in front of the committee.

As a result, your personal statement needs to function both as an essay and as an advertisement. If you are not convinced, then ask yourself this: When was the last time you read over a dozen short stories in a day, spending only a few minutes on each one? Now ask: When was the last time you spent a few minutes each on a dozen or more commercials in a day? However, please do not interpret this to mean that your statement should be gimmicky, cutesy, or include a sing-a-long song.

What it does mean is that the best essays, like the best ads, are going to be interesting enough to grab the reader’s attention on the first read and powerful enough to hold it even if it’s the fortieth essay the reader has read that day. But unlike most ads, the essay must also withstand longer, more in-depth scrutiny.

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source

From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

Quotes by members of EssayEdge panel of admissions officers in italics.

During that first, quick look at your file (transcripts, science and nonscience GPAs, MCAT scores, application, recommendations, and personal statement), what the admissions committee seeks is essentially the same:

1. Proven ability to succeed.
2. Clear intellectual ability, analytical and critical thinking skills.
3. Evidence that this person has the potential to make not only a good medical student, but a good doctor.

But the committee is looking for more than this in the essay specifically. We will discuss in detail the essay issues that were listed as most important by our advisory panel of admissions officers.

Motivation

Your application to medical school is a testimony to your desire to ultimately be a doctor. The admissions committee will look at your essay to see that you’ve answered the obvious, but not so simple, question “Why?” You must be able to explain your motivation for attending medical school.

I look for a sustained understanding of why the candidate wants to enter medicine, how they’ve tested their interest, and how they’ve prepared for medical school.

Touch on your passion to pursue medicine. For many, medicine is akin to a calling, and the evaluator must get a sense that they are hearing and responding to the same motivation.

You will be offered much advice in the upcoming pages, with plenty of do’s and don’ts. In the midst of all of this, whatever you do, do not lose sight of the ultimate goal of the essay-to convince the admissions committee members that you belong at their medical school. Everything we tell you should be used as a means to this end, so step back from the details of this process regularly and remind yourself of the big picture:

The essay is the way for candidates to make the argument as to why they, among all the highly qualified candidates, should be admitted to medical school and the eventual practice of medicine.

Writing/Communication Skills

Another obvious function of the essay is to showcase your language abilities and writing skills.

In the essay I want a clear sense that they understand and can communicate well why they are compelling candidates.

Especially if an applicant did some or all of the prerequisite coursework in another country, we will look to the essay to ensure strong English language skills.

At this level, good writing skills are not sought; they are expected. So, while a beautifully written essay isn’t going to get you into medical school, a poorly written one could keep you out.

Beyond showcasing your writing abilities and demonstrating your motivation, what else can the essay do for you? Following is more of what the members of the advisory panel said they look for in an essay.

Soft Skills

Let the rest of your application, not the personal statement, speak for your hard skills and achievements (such as your academic excellence, your fantastic MCAT scores, your class rank). What admissions officers seek in the essay are some specific soft skills such as sincerity, maturity, empathy, compassion, and motivation. These qualities were rated especially high in the medical community, more so than for any other graduate-level program we studied.

Because these qualities are not quantifiable, and therefore not easily demonstrated through the usual criteria of grades and numbers, the essay is your first opportunity (and one of your only ones) to showcase them.

A successful essay will demonstrate in one way or another that the writer has the soft skills necessary to be a good doctor. This applicant was very direct in asserting his soft skills.

Motivation, independence, maturity, precisely those qualities my experiences in Eastern Europe instilled, will be essential to a fruitful career.

When qualities are mentioned as directly as this, the applicant must be careful to support the claims with clear evidence gathered from personal experience. More often, applicants let their achievements and experiences speak for themselves, and the qualities that they demonstrate are inferred.

A Real Person

This list is not ordered by importance; if it were, this category would be listed first. What our admissions officers said they seek more than any specific skill or characteristic mentioned in the personal statement is a real, live human being:

The members of a medical admissions committee are responsible for choosing the next generation of medical doctors. These are the people who will be healing our children, curing us and our parents, and literally saving lives. Put it in that perspective and the responsibility we feel is enormous. For this reason, we’re going to choose to accept someone we feel we know, trust, and like.

In light of this, then, it might not surprise you that when we asked admissions officers and medical students for their number one piece of advice regarding the essay, we received the same response almost every time. Although it was expressed in many different ways (be honest, be sincere, be unique, be personal, and so on) it all came down to the same point: “Be Yourself!”

My number one piece of advice is: Be yourself when you write the essay. The medical profession is a lifetime commitment. Let those in the profession know what drives you towards it!

Unfortunately, achieving this level of communication in writing does not come naturally to everyone, but that does not mean it cannot be learned. Part of what can make this kind of writing seem so difficult is that it is very hard to gauge the impressions you are creating through your writing. Even if you have followed every tip in this course, it is a good idea to have some objective people-preferably those who do not already know you well-read it over when you have finished.

Get Personal

The only way to let the admissions committee see you as an individual is to make your essay personal. When you do this, your essay will automatically be more interesting and engaging, helping it stand out from the hundreds of others the committee will be reviewing that week.

After reading hundreds of essays in my time on the Harvard Medical School admissions committee, I would tell people a couple of key things. First, make it personal. The most boring, dry essays are those that go on about how the applicant loves science and working with people and wants to serve humanity, but offer few personal details that give a sense of what the applicant is like.

Personalize your essay as much as possible-generic essays are not only boring to read, they’re a waste of time because they don’t tell you anything about the applicant that helps you get to know them better.

What does it mean to make your essay personal? It means that you drop the formalities and write about something that is truly meaningful to you. It means that you include a story or anecdote taken from your life, using ample detail and colorful imagery to give it life. And it means, above all, being completely honest.

Please see our sample essays for examples of essays that get personal, including the essay by this Duke applicant. The writer begins by recollecting her experience with anorexia and her admiration for the doctor who saved her life. But it is more than the story that makes her essay real — it is the way that she describes her experiences. She uses a personal tone throughout the essay, for example when she describes herself while volunteering at an AIDS clinic:

“I am constantly reminded of how much I have to learn. I look at a baby and notice its cute, pudgy toes. Dr. V. plays with it while conversing with its mother, and in less than a minute has noted its responsiveness, strength, and attachment to its parent, and checked its reflexes, color and hydration. Gingerly, I search for the tympanic membrane in the ears of a cooperative child and touch an infant’s warm, soft belly, willing my hands to have a measure of Dr. V.’s competence.”

It is her admittance that she doesn’t yet know everything she needs to know coupled with the picture she paints of herself noticing a baby’s “cute pudgy toes” and “gingerly” searching in “the ear of a cooperative child” and touching “an infant’s warm, soft belly.” As readers, we do not have to strain to create a mental image of the author as a caring, still somewhat tentative individual. This vivid portrayal is painted by a series of personal details.

Just as this writer did not rely on her story of anorexia to make her essay personal, one admissions officer comments:

A personal epiphany, tragedy, life change, or earth-shattering event is not essential to a strong essay.

This point cannot be stressed enough. Personal does not necessarily mean heavy, or emotional, or awe inspiring. It is a small minority of students who will truly have had a life-changing event to write about. Perhaps they have spent time living abroad or have experienced death or disease from close proximity. But this is the exception and not the rule.

In fact, students who rely too heavily on these weighty experiences often do themselves an injustice. They often don’t think about what has really touched them or interests them because they are preoccupied with the topic that they think will impress the committee. They write about their grandfather’s death because they think that only death (or the emotional equivalent) is significant enough to make them seem introspective and mature. What often happens, however, is that they rely on the experience itself to speak for them and never explain what it meant to them or give a solid example of how it was emotionally influencing. In other words, they don’t make it personal.

Details, Details, Details

To make your essay personal, learn from the example above and use details. Show, don’t tell, who you are by backing your claims with real experiences.

Essays only really help you if they are unique and enable the reader to get a sense of who you are based on examples and scenarios and ideas, rather than lists of what you’ve done. The readers want to find out who this person is, not what the person has done, although the two are obviously interrelated.

The key words from this quote are examples, scenarios, and ideas. Using detail means being specific. Each and every point that you make needs to be backed up by specific instances taken from your experience. It is these details that make your story unique and interesting.

Tell a Story

Tell a story. It always makes for more interesting reading and it usually conveys something more personal than such blanket statements as “I want to help people.”

Incorporating a story into your essay can be a great way to make it interesting and enjoyable. The safest and most common way of integrating a story into an essay is to tell the story first, then step back into the role of narrator and explain why it was presented and what lessons were learned. The reason this method works is that it forces you to begin with the action, which is a sure way to get the readers’ attention and keep them reading.

Many of the sample essays on this site make effective use of storytelling. This essay begins with a tale of stage fright before a theater performance, while this essay begins with a newspaper clipping about the writer as a child. This Harvard applicant takes an even more creative approach to the story method by incorporating the tale of a prehistoric woman whose bones he has analyzed. A story is best used to draw the reader in, and it should always relate back to the motivation to attend medical school or the ability to succeed once admitted.

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source

From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

These exercises are more focused on finding the specific points and details that you will need to incorporate into your statement.

The Chronological Method

Start from childhood and record any and all special or pivotal experiences that you remember. Go from grade to grade, and job to job, noting any significant lessons learned, achievements reached, painful moments endured, or obstacles overcome. Also, include your feelings about those occurrences as you remember them. If you are a visual person, it might help to draw a timeline. Do not leave out any significant event.

This goal of this exercise is to help you uncover long-forgotten material from your youth. This material can be used to demonstrate a long-standing dedication to the medical field, or to illustrate the kind of person you are by painting an image of yourself as a child. Be cautioned in advance, though, that relying too heavily on accomplishments or awards won too far in your past can diminish the strength of your points. Medical schools are more interested in what you have been doing since college than in what you accomplished, no matter how impressive, in high school.

Assess Your Accomplishments

Write down anything you are proud of doing, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem. Do not limit your achievements to your career. If you have overcome a difficult personal obstacle, be sure to list this too. If something is important to you, it speaks volumes about who you are and what makes you tick. Some accomplishments will be obvious, such as any achievement that received public accolade or acknowledgment. Others are less so, and many times the most defining moments of our lives are those we are inclined to dismiss.

List Your Skills

Do an assessment of your skills that is similar to the one you did for your accomplishments. Do not limit yourself to your “medical” skills such as helping people or research abilities. Cast your net broadly. Being able to draw connections between your unique skills and how they will make you a good doctor is what will make you memorable. Begin by looking back at the last exercise and listing the skills that are highlighted by your accomplishments. When you have a list of words, start brainstorming on other ways you have demonstrated these skills in the last few years. Pretend that you are defending these skills in front of a panel of judges. Stop only when you have proven each point to the best of your ability.

Analyze Personality Traits

There is a fine and fuzzy line between skills and personality traits that can be used to your advantage. Almost any quality can be positioned as a skill or ability if the right examples are used to demonstrate them. If you had trouble listing and defending your skills in the last exercise, then shift the focus to your qualities and characteristics instead. Make a few columns on a sheet of paper. In the first one, list some adjectives you would use to describe yourself. In the next one, list the words your best friend would use. Use the other columns for other types of people-perhaps one for your boss and another for family members or coworkers.

When you have finished, see which words come up the most often. Look for such words as maturity, responsibility, sense of purpose, academic ability, intellectual curiosity, creativity, thoughtfulness, trustworthiness, sense of humor, perseverance, commitment, integrity, enthusiasm, confidence, conscientiousness, candor, leadership, goal-orientation, independence, and tact, to name a few. Group them together and list the different situations in which you have exhibited these characteristics. How effectively can you illustrate or prove that you possess these qualities? How do these qualities reflect on your ability to succeed in the medical world?

Note Major Influences

Was there a particular person who shaped your values and views? Did a particular book or quote make you rethink your life? Relationships can be good material for an essay, particularly a relationship that challenged you to look at people in a different way. Perhaps you had a wise and generous mentor from whom you learned a great deal. Have you had an experience that changed how you see the world, or defines who you are? What details of your life, special achievements, and pivotal events have helped shape you and influence your goals?

Identify Your Goals

The first step of this exercise is to let loose and write down anything that comes to mind regarding your goals: What are your dreams? What did you want to be when you were younger? If you could do or be anything right now, regardless of skill, money, or other restrictions, what would it be? Think as broadly as you wish, and do not limit yourself to professional goals. Will you have kids? What kind of house will you live in? What kinds of friends will you have?

The second step is to begin honing in on some more specific or realistic goals. Given your current skills, education, and experience, where could you expect to be in twenty years? Where would you be ideally? Think in terms of five-year increments, listing actual positions and places, if possible. Be detailed and thorough in your assessment, and when you think you are finished, dig a little deeper.

Your goal of becoming a doctor is obvious, of course, but when you can show the admissions committee that you have thought more specifically about your goals, it reemphasizes the sincerity of your motivation. It also reassures the committee that you understand what becoming a doctor means specifically, that it is more than being a hero and getting to write M.D. after your name.

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source

From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

Please select from the following common medical school topics:

• Why I Want to Be a Doctor
• Why I am an Exceptional Person
• Why I am a Qualified Person

Note: These essays have not been edited.
They appear below as they were initially reviewed by admissions officers.

Theme 1: Why I Want to Be a Doctor

Many people look back in time to find the moment of their initial inspiration. Some people have wanted to be a doctor so long they do not even know what originally inspired them. To incorporate this theme, look back to the material you gathered in the last chapter, specifically in response to “The Chronological Method,” “Note Major Influences,” and “Identify Your Goals.” Ask yourself these questions: How old was I when I first wanted to become a doctor? Was there a defining moment? Was there ever any ambivalence? Was I inspired by a specific person? What kind of doctor do I want to be and how does that tie into my motivation?

Here are a few of the common ways that students incorporate this theme:

“I’ve Always Wanted to Be a Doctor”

AKA: “I’ve Wanted to Be a Doctor Since I Was” and “Everyone Has Always Said I’d Be a Doctor”

This is perhaps the most common approach of all. The secret to doing it well is to show, not just tell, why you want to be a doctor. You cannot just say it and expect it to stand on its own. Take the advice of one admissions officer:

“The “I’ve always wanted to be a doctor” essay has been done to death. I think candidates need to be careful to show that their decision was not only a pre-adolescent one and has been tested over the years and approached in a mature manner.”

Supply believable details from your life to make your desire real to the reader. One secret to avoiding the “here we go again” reaction is to be particularly careful with your first line. Starting with “I’ve wanted to be a doctor since,” makes the reader cringe. It’s an easy line to fall back on, but admissions officers have read this sentence more times than they care to count; don’t add to the statistic.

“My Parents are Doctors”

This approach to the “why I want to be a doctor” theme is dangerous for a different reason. Says one officer:

“It’s a prejudice of mine, but the legacy essay, the one that reads, “My dad and my grandpa and my great-grandpa were all doctors so I should be too,” makes me suspect immaturity. I envision young people who can’t think for themselves or make up their own minds.”

This is not the opinion of every officer, though. The point is not to avoid admitting that your parent is an M.D., it is to avoid depending on that as the sole reason for you wanting to go to medical school. If a parent truly was your inspiration, then describe exactly why you were inspired.

“My Doctor Changed My Life!”

AKA: “Being a Patient Made Me Want to Become a Doctor”

Some people claim to be motivated to become doctors because they have had personal experience of illness or disability. Notes an admissions officer:

“I had a student who grew up with a chronic illness. She spent much time with physicians and other health care providers throughout her young life. In her essay she wrote about this continuing experience and how the medical professionals treated her. She wrote of her admiration of them as well as her understanding that they couldn’t yet cure her. Her essay literally jumped off the page as being unique to her and a compelling understanding of and testament to her desire to join the people who had been so important to her life.”

If your personal experience with the medical profession sincerely is your motivation for attending medical school, then do write about it. The problem is that many students fall back on this topic even when it does not particularly hold true for them. We cannot stress enough that you do not have to have a life-defining ability or a dramatic experience to have an exciting statement. Admissions committees receive piles of accident- and illness-related essays and the ones that seem insincere stick out like sore thumbs (pun intended!) and do not reflect well on you as a candidate. Says another officer:

“”My orthodontist changed my life!” “My dentist gave me my smile back!” These types of themes are certainly valid, but go beyond that to what particular aspect of the profession intrigues you. Do you understand how many years of study your orthodontist had to have in order to reach his level of practice? Have you observed your dentist for any significant amount of time? Do you know that the profession now is much different than it was when he or she was starting out? Have you given any thought to the danger of infectious diseases to all health-care professionals? Present a well-organized, complete essay dealing with these points.”

You may just want to mention your own experience only briefly toward the end of the essay. Use it as a confirmation of your decision to be a doctor (instead of as his primary motivation) and demonstrate that because of the experience you will become a better doctor. Try not to dwell on the experience and provide plenty of further evidence of your sincere motivation.

“My Mom Had Cancer”

This theme is really just a variation of “I was a patient myself” and the same advice applies: If a loved one’s battle with illness, trauma, or disability is truly what inspired your wish to become a doctor, then by all means mention it. But don’t dwell on it, don’t overdramatize, and don’t let it stand as your sole motivation-show that you’ve done your research and you understand the life of a doctor and you chose it for a variety of reasons.

The Hard-Luck Tale

Some truly outstanding essays are about strong emotional experiences such as a childhood struggle with disease or the death of a loved one. Some of these are done so effectively that they are held up as role models for all essays. Says one officer:

“I had a student who was considered a weak candidate because of poor grades and low test scores. She was African-American and although she had pursued all the right avenues (classes, MCAT, volunteer experiences) to prepare herself for medical school, she remained undistinguished as a candidate- until, that is, she wrote her essay. The essay revealed her tremendous and sincere drive. She was from a crime-riddled area of New York City and several of her siblings had been violently killed. She wrote about her experience and her desire to practice medicine in the city and improve the neighborhood where she was raised. It was compelling, believable, and truly inspiring.”

While it is true that these poignant tales can provide very strong evidence of motivation for medical school, they are difficult to do well and need to be handled with extreme care and sensitivity. And, as we have said before, do not rely on the tale itself to carry you through; you always need to clearly show your motivation. Notes another admissions officer:

“This is going to sound harsh, but I don’t like the tales of woe such as the ones that begin with the mother’s death from cancer. Frankly, I feel manipulated and I don’t think that the personal statement is the proper mode of expression for that kind of emotion.”

The Medical Dichotomy

One of the major draws of the medical field is its dualistic nature combining hard-core science with the softer side of helping people. This is described by people in many ways; some describe it as a dichotomy of science to art; to others it is intellectualism to humanism, theory to application, research to creativity, or qualitative to social skills. No matter how you choose to phrase it, if you mention the dichotomy, then be sure to touch on your qualifications and experience in both areas.

Theme 2: Why I Am an Exceptional Person

This theme is often tied in closely with “why I am a qualified person.” Be very clear on the difference, though; the latter focuses specifically on your experience (medical or otherwise) that qualifies you to be a better medical student, while the former focuses strictly on you as a person. Committees are always on the lookout for well-rounded candidates. They want to see that you are interesting, involved, and tied to the community around you.

To help you think about how to support this theme, look at your answers to the exercises from the last chapter and ask yourself: What makes me different? Do I have any special talents or abilities that might make me more interesting? How will my skills and personality traits add diversity to the class? What makes me stand out from the crowd? How will this help me to be a better physician and student?

If you are creative, you’ll be able to take whatever makes you different-even a flaw-and turn it to your advantage.

“One student wrote about her experience as a childhood ‘klutz’ and how her many accidents kept her continually seeking medical care. The care she received was the impetus to her desire to become a doctor and made her essay entertaining, sincere, and eminently credible.”

Note that the candidate in this example tied her experience to her desire to become a doctor. It is imperative that this be done with practically every point you make in your essay.

The Talented Among Us

If you are one of a lucky few who have an outstanding talent or ability, now is no time to hide it. Whether you are a star athlete, an opera singer, or a violin virtuoso, by all means make it a focus of your essay.

“These people can be some of the strongest of candidates. Assuming, always, that they’ve excelled in the required preparatory coursework, the other strengths can take them over the top. Athletes, musicians, and others can make the compelling case of excellence, achievement, discipline, mastering a subject/talent and leveraging their abilities. Medical schools are full of these types; they thrive by bringing high achievers who possess intellectual ability into their realm.”

If you do plan to focus on a strength outside the field of medicine, your challenge becomes one of how to tie the experience of that ability into your motivation for becoming a doctor.

Students of Diversity

If you are diverse in any sense of the word-an older applicant, a minority, a foreign applicant, or disabled-use it to your advantage by showing what your unique background will bring to the school and to the practice of medicine. Some admissions officers, however, warn against using minority status as a qualification instead of a quality. If you fall into this trap, your diversity will work against you.

“If you are a ’student of diversity,’ then of course, use it. But don’t harp on it for its own sake or think that being diverse by itself is enough to get you in; that will only make us feel manipulated and it will show that you didn’t know how to take advantage of a good opportunity.”

So just be sure you tie it in with either your motivation or your argument for why your diversity makes you a better candidate.

Latecomers and Career Switchers

You need not be a member of a minority, a foreign applicant, disabled, or an athlete or musician to be considered diverse. There are, for example, those who have had experience in or prepared themselves for totally different fields. If you fall into these categories, give succinct reasons for wanting to go into medicine and show evidence of sincere and intensive preparation for your new chosen field.

English Majors and Theater People

Not everyone who is accepted to medical school has a hard-core science background. If you’re one of these applicants, you must turn your potential weaknesses into strengths. Point out that communication is an integral part of being a doctor, and discuss the advantages of your well-rounded backgrounds. Be very careful to demonstrate your motivation and qualifications in detail and with solid evidence to offset worries that your non-science backgrounds may have given you an unrealistic view of a doctor’s life or that you might be unable to cope with the science courses at medical school.

Can I Be Too Well Rounded?

Some people have talents, abilities, or experience in so many different areas that they risk coming across as unfocused or undedicated. When handled deftly, though, your many sides can be brought together, and what could have hurt you becomes instead your greatest vehicle for setting you apart from the crowd.

Taking Advantage of International Experience

Many applicants have international experience. So, while it may not set you apart in a completely unique way, it is always worthwhile to demonstrate your cross-cultural experience and sensitivity. To be successful, you must go beyond simply writing about your experiences to relating them either to your motivation or qualifications. Do not expect the committee to make these leaps for you; you need to put it in your own words and make the connections clear.

Religion

Some admissions counselors advise against the mention of religion altogether. Others say that it can be used to applicants’ advantage by setting them apart and by stressing values and commitment. This is a sensitive subject area and is best left to individual choice.

Theme 3: Why I Am a Qualified Person

The last major theme deals with your experience and qualifications both for attending medical school and for becoming a good doctor. Having direct hospital or research experience is always the best evidence you can give. If you have none, then consider what other experience you have that is related. Have you been a volunteer? Have you tutored English as a Second Language? Were you a teaching assistant? The rule to follow here is: If you have done it, use it.

Hospital/Clinical Experience

Direct experience with patients is probably the best kind to have in your essay. But the important thing to remember here is that any type or amount of experience you have had should be mentioned, no matter how insignificant you feel it is.

Research Experience

A word of caution: Do not focus solely on your research topic; your essay will become impersonal at best and positively dull at worst. Watch out for overuse of what non-science types refer to as “medical garble.” If it is necessary for the description of your project, then, of course, you have no choice. But including medical terms in your essay just because you are able to will not impress anyone.

Unusual Medical Experience

Even if you have not volunteered X number of hours a week at a clinic or spent a term on a research project, you might still have medical experience that counts: the time you cared for your sick grandmother or the day you saved the man at the next table from choking in a restaurant. It does not even matter if you were unsuccessful (maybe, despite all your valiant efforts, the man at the next table did not survive), if it was meaningful to you then it is relevant; in fact, these failed efforts might be even more compelling.

Nonmedical Experience

Your experience does not even have to be medically related to be relevant. Many successful applicants cite non-medical volunteer experience as evidence of their willingness to help and heal the human race.

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source

From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

The most important leading sentence of all, of course, is the first sentence of your essay. The words and images you use must do more than simply announce the theme or topic of your essay-they must engage the reader. You do not want an admissions officer to start reading your essay and think, “Here we go again.” If, after the first sentence, the admissions counselor does not like what she sees, she may not continue reading.

You do not have to begin by writing the lead. Often, you will spot the lead floating around in the middle of your first draft. You can use many different kinds of effective leads. You will find examples of some of them listed below. Remember, too, that if you have segmented your essay into distinct parts with different titles, you need to treat every segment as a separate essay and find an effective lead for each.

Standard Lead

Standard leads are the most common leads used. A typical standard lead answers one or more of the six basic questions: who, what, when, where, why, and how. They give the reader an idea of what to expect. A summary lead is a kind of standard lead that answers most of these questions in one sentence. The problem with this kind of lead is that, although it is a logical beginning, it can be dull. The advantage is that it sets your reader up for a focused and well-structured essay. If you live up to that expectation, the impact of your points is heightened. They are also useful for shorter essays when you need to get to the point quickly.

Creative Lead

This lead attempts to add interest by being obtuse or funny. It can leave you wondering what the essay will be about, or make you smile:

The beating of an African healing drum resonates throughout all corners of the Catholic church during the weekly five o’clock student mass. (click here for essay)

Action Lead

This lead takes the reader into the middle of a piece of action. It is perfect for short essays where space needs to be conserved or for narrative essays that begin with a story.

It was opening night. I was about to walk on stage as Ruth in “The Pirates of Penzance.” (click here for essay)

Personal or Revealing Lead

This lead reveals something about the writer. It is always in the first person and usually takes an informal, conversational tone:

I decided that I wanted to be a doctor some time after my four month incarceration in Columbia Presbyterian Children’s Hospital in the winter of 1986-87, as I struggled with anorexia nervosa. (click here for essay)

Before I found out that my high school Spanish teacher was HIV-positive, AIDS was not much more than a bunch of statistics to me. (click here for essay)

Quotation Lead

This type of lead can be a direct quotation or a paraphrase. It is most effective when the quote you choose is unusual, funny, or obscure, and not too long. Choose a quote with a meaning you plan to reveal to the reader as the essay progresses. Some admissions officers caution against using this kind of lead because it can seem like you are trying to impress them or sound smart. Do not use a proverb or cliché, and do not interpret the quote in your essay. The admissions committee is more interested in how you respond to it and what that response says about you:

“One time, a family cat captured… a moth. The cat’s play disturbed E., who promptly got a local veterinarian on the phone to get tips on reviving the mortally wounded moth. The moth didn’t make it, but knowing E.’s enthusiasm, Mrs. E. is more optimistic about the park.” (click here for essay)

Dialogue Lead

This lead takes the reader into a conversation. It can take the form of an actual dialogue between two people or can simply be a snippet of personal thought:

“Peter, the woman we’re about to meet will receive her first palliative treatment today.” (click here for essay)

Informative Lead

This lead gives the reader a fact or a statistic that is connected to the topic of your essay or simply provides a piece of information about yourself or a situation:

In communist Hungary in 1986 ownership of property meant certain things. (click here for essay)

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source

From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

Substance

Substance refers to the content of the essay and the message you send out. Here are some questions to ask yourself regarding content:

1. Have I answered the question asked?
2. Do I back up each point that I make with an example? Have I used concrete and personal examples?
3. Have I been specific? (Go on a generalities hunt. Turn the generalities into specifics.)
4. Could anyone else have written this essay?
5. What does it say about me? After making a list of all the words you have used within the essay – directly and indirectly – to describe yourself, ask: Does this list accurately represent me?
6. Does the writing sound like me? Is it personal and informal rather than uptight or stiff?
7. Regarding the introduction, is it personal? Is it too general? Can the essay get along without it?
8. What about the essay makes it memorable?

Structure

The meaning of an essay can be obscured by not properly ordering your ideas. Your essay should be a roadmap leading the reader to an inevitable conclusion.

1. To check the overall structure of your essay, conduct a first-sentence check. Write down the first sentence of every paragraph in order. Read through them one after another and ask the following:
   
   • Would someone who was reading only these sentences still understand exactly what I am trying to say?
   • Do the first sentences express all of my main points?
   • Do the thoughts flow naturally, or do they seem to skip around or come out of left field?
2. Now go back to your essay as a whole and ask these questions:
   • Does each paragraph stick to the thought that was introduced in the first sentence?
   • Does a piece of evidence support each point? How well does the evidence support the point?
   • Is each paragraph roughly the same length? Stepping back and squinting at the essay, do the paragraphs look balanced on the page? (If one is significantly longer than the rest, you are probably trying to squeeze more than one thought into it.)
   • Does my conclusion draw naturally from the previous paragraphs?
   • Have I varied the length and structure of my sentences?

Interest

Many people think only of mechanics when they revise and rewrite their compositions. As we know, though, the interest factor is crucial in keeping the admissions officers reading and remembering your essay. Look at your essay with the interest equation in mind: personal + specific = interesting. Answer the following:

1. Is the opening paragraph personal?
2. Do I start with action or an image?
3. Does the essay show rather than tell?
4. Did I use any words that are not usually a part of my vocabulary? (If so, get rid of them.)
5. Have I used the active voice whenever possible?
6. Have I overused adjectives and adverbs?
7. Have I eliminated clichés?
8. Have I deleted redundancies?
9. Does the essay sound interesting to me? (If it bores you, imagine what it will do to others.)
10. Will the ending give the reader a sense of completeness? Does the last sentence sound like the last sentence?

Proofreading

When you are satisfied with the structure and content of your essay, it is time to check for grammar, spelling, typos, and the like. You can fix obvious things right away: a misspelled or misused word, a seemingly endless sentence, or improper punctuation. Keep rewriting until your words say what you want them to say. Ask yourself these questions:

1. Did I punctuate correctly?
2. Did I eliminate exclamation points (except in dialogue)?
3. Did I use capitalization clearly and consistently?
4. Do the subjects agree in number with the verbs?
5. Did I place the periods and commas inside the quotation marks?
6. Did I keep contractions to a minimum? Do apostrophes appear in the right places?
7. Did I replace the name of the proper school for each new application?
8. Have I caught every single typo? (You can use your spell-checker but make sure that you check and re-check every change it makes. It is a computer after all.)

Lesson Menu:

• Lesson One: The Audience
• Lesson Two: What “They” Look For
• Lesson Three: Brainstorming a Topic
• Lesson Four: Tackling the Question
• Lesson Five: Introductions
• Lesson Six: Editing Checklist

Source
From Essays That Will Get You Into College, by Amy Burnham, Daniel Kaufman, and Chris Dowhan. Copyright 1998 by Dan Kaufman. Reprinted by arrangement with Barron’s Educational Series, Inc.

Materials for Essay Statements Workshop 101 are provided courtesy of EssayEdge. Copyright 2002 EssayEdge. All rights reserved.

By Juliet Farmer
Staff Writer

A supplement to our Essay Workshop 101 Series.

Essays & personal statements are an anxiety-inducing part of the application process for many postgraduate applicants. Luckily, with some advice from experts and–we’re not going to sugar-coat it–a lot of work, your essay statement can stand apart from the rest.

Consider your audience

Medical school admissions committees range from a handful to two dozen
members, and are generally a combination of full-time admissions staff, faculty, students and doctors from the community. There are often a variety of medical backgrounds represented, from clinical to general science, and from MDs, to PhDs, to students. Because decisions are made by voting, this variety helps ensure that every applicant receives proper consideration.

Most likely your essay will be read in its entirety by at least one of the members of the committee (usually one of the faculty members or second-year medical students). They will then consider all aspects of your application, and if they like what they see, you will be invited to interview. Admissions officers usually spend from three to 10 minutes looking at each essay during this first read, so you have to make an impact quickly.

Because admissions officers read 40 to 50 essays in a day during peak weeks, your personal statement must stand apart from dozens of others read in the same day.

Because your essay may only get a few minutes of face time, it needs to function as both an essay and an advertisement. The best essays grab the reader’s attention on the first read, and hold it even if it’s the last essay of the day for the reader.

Panelists say they look for several things in the essay. During that first, quick look at your file (transcripts, science and non-science GPAs, MCAT scores, application, recommendations and personal statement), they’re looking for a proven ability to succeed; clear intellectual ability, analytical and critical thinking skills; and evidence that you have the potential to make not only a good medical student, but also a good doctor.

Address your motivation

Your application to medical school is a testimony to your desire to ultimately be a doctor. The admissions committee will look at your essay to see that you’ve answered the obvious, but not so simple, question, “Why?”

The ultimate goal of your essay is to convince the reader that you belong at their medical school.

Another obvious function of the essay is to showcase your language abilities and writing skills. At this level, good writing skills are expected.

Admissions officers are looking for specific soft skills such as sincerity, maturity, empathy, compassion and motivation in your essay. Because these qualities are not easily quantified, and therefore not easily demonstrated through grades and numbers, your essay is among your first and only opportunities to showcase them.

Be truthful and personalize your essay as much as possible. Write about something that is genuinely meaningful to you, and include a story or anecdote taken from your life, using ample detail and colorful imagery to give it life.

Personal does not necessarily mean heavy, or emotional, or awe inspiring—that’s not required in a good essay.

Give the reader a sense of who you are based on examples, scenarios and ideas, rather than lists of what you’ve done.

Remember that each and every point that you make needs to be backed up by specific instances taken from your experience.

Try telling a story in your essay, and relate it back to the motivation to attend medical school or the ability to succeed once admitted. Story ideas can stem from a variety of sources.What are some special or pivotal experiences that you remember? Are there any significant lessons learned, achievements reached, painful moments endured, or obstacles overcome? Write down anything you are proud of doing, no matter how small or insignificant it might seem.

Perform an honest self-assessment of your skills, and try to draw connections between your unique skills and how they will make you a good doctor. Write about your qualities and characteristics and think of different situations in which you have exhibited these characteristics.

Relationships are another good source of essay material, particularly relationships that have challenged you to look at people in a different way.

Write about your goals, and don’t limit yourself to professional goals.

Three common essay themes are “Why I Want to be a Doctor,” “Why I Am an Exceptional Person,” and “Why I Am a Qualified Person.”

Theme 1: Why I Want to Be a Doctor

Many people look back in time to find the moment of their initial inspiration. Some people have wanted to be a doctor so long they do not even know what originally inspired them. How old were you when you first wanted to become a doctor? Was there a defining moment? Was there ever any ambivalence? Were you inspired by a specific person? What kind of doctor do you want to be and how does that tie into your motivation?

If your personal experience with the medical profession is your motivation for attending medical school, then write about it.

If a loved one’s experience is what inspired your wish to become a doctor, then mention it, but don’t dwell on it, don’t over dramatize, and don’t let it stand as your sole motivation. Show that you’ve done your research and you understand the life of a doctor and you chose it for a variety of reasons.

Theme 2: Why I Am an Exceptional Person

This theme is often tied in closely with “why I am a qualified person.” The latter focuses on your experience (medical or otherwise) that qualifies you to be a better medical student, while the former focuses on you as a person.

What makes you different? Do you have any special talents or abilities that might make you more interesting? How will your skills and personality traits add diversity to the class? What makes you stand out from the crowd? How will this help you to be a better physician and student?

If you are one of the lucky few who have an outstanding talent or ability, mention it and try to tie the experience of that ability into your motivation for becoming a doctor.

If you are an older applicant, a minority, a foreign applicant or disabled, explain what your unique background will bring to the school and to the practice of medicine. Just be sure you tie it in with either your motivation or your argument for why your diversity makes you a better candidate.

Play up your strengths, especially if you don’t have a science background. Turn your potential weaknesses into strengths by pointing out that communication is an integral part of being a doctor, discussing the advantages of your well-rounded background, and demonstrating your motivation and qualifications in detail and with solid evidence.

If you have international experience, it may not set you apart in a completely unique way, but it is worthwhile to demonstrate your cross-cultural experience and sensitivity. Go beyond simply writing about your experiences to relating them either to your motivation or qualifications.

Theme 3: Why I Am a Qualified Person

The last major theme deals with your experience and qualifications, both for attending medical school and for becoming a good doctor. Having direct hospital or research experience is always the best evidence you can give. If you have none, then consider what other experience you have that is related. If you have done it, use it.

The important thing to remember here is that any type or amount of experience you have had should be mentioned, no matter how insignificant you feel it is.

Your experience does not even have to be medically related to be relevant. Many successful applicants cite non-medical volunteer experience as evidence of their willingness to help and heal the human race.

The Introduction

The most important leading sentence of all, of course, is the first sentence of your essay. The words and images you use must do more than simply announce the theme or topic of your essay-they must engage the reader. If, after the first sentence, the admissions counselor does not like what she sees, she may not continue reading. (You do not have to begin by writing the lead. Often, you will spot the lead floating around in the middle of your first draft.)

Standard leads are the most commonly used. A standard lead answers one or more of the six basic questions: who, what, when, where, why and how. It gives the reader an idea of what to expect. A summary lead is a kind of standard lead that attempts to answer most of these questions in one sentence.

Creative leads attempt to add interest by being obtuse or funny, and can leave you wondering what the essay will be about, or make you smile.

Action leads take the reader into the middle of a piece of action, and are perfect for short essays where space needs to be conserved or for narrative essays that begin with a story.

Personal or revealing leads reveal something about the writer, are always in the first person and usually take an informal, conversational tone.

Quotation leads can be a direct quotation or a paraphrase. It is most effective when the quote you choose is unusual, funny, or obscure, and not too long. Choose a quote with a meaning you plan to reveal to the reader as the essay progresses, but don’t use a proverb or cliché, and do not interpret the quote in your essay.

Dialogue leads take the reader into a conversation and can take the form of actual dialogue between two people or can simply be a snippet of personal thought.

Informative leads give the reader a fact or a statistic that is connected to the topic of your essay or simply provide a piece of information about yourself or a situation.

Last But Not Least, the Editing Checklist

Be sure you have answered the question asked and backed up each point that you made with concrete and personal examples, and be specific—no generalities allowed.

Be sure the essay accurately represents you and sounds like you.

To check the overall structure of your essay, conduct a first-sentence check. Write down the first sentence of every paragraph in order. Read through them one after another and ask the following: Would someone who was reading only these sentences still understand exactly what you are trying to say? Do the first sentences express all of your main points? Do the thoughts flow naturally?

About your essay as a whole, does each paragraph stick to the thought that was introduced in the first sentence? Does a piece of evidence support each point? Is each paragraph roughly the same length? If not, you may be trying to squeeze too many thoughts into some of them. Does your conclusion draw naturally from the previous paragraphs? Have you varied the length and structure of your sentences?

Look at your essay with the interest equation in mind: personal + specific = interesting. Answer the following:

1. Is the opening paragraph personal?
2. Do you start with action or an image?
3. Does the essay show rather than tell?
4. Did you use any words that are not usually a part of your vocabulary? (If so, get rid of them.)
5. Have you used the active voice whenever possible?
6. Have you overused adjectives and adverbs?
7. Have you eliminated clichés?
8. Have you deleted redundancies?
9. Does the essay sound interesting to you?
10. Will the ending give the reader a sense of completeness? Does the last sentence sound like the last sentence?

Be sure to check for proper grammar, spelling, and punctuation.

With these tips, you’ll have the foundation for a personal statement essay that has that “wow” factor that makes you stand out—in a good way.