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A long question, but one worth reading. My best suggestion is to find a single advocate among the faculty and have THEM speak to your two "enemies" to see what can be done to at least mute their objections. Here is the post...
Sorry everyone for long post....
I'm an IMG with long wish to be an anesthesiologist. For some reasons, I couldn't do it in my native country. Came in USA in 2000, got GC, passed USMLE with very high scores, had 20+ interviews in Gas, matched in first choice program. Didn't like it too much, but being tied up with family and not having anything else at home state, just sucked it up. Currently PGY3/CA2 at the same place.
PGY1 was without big issues. Right after starting CA1 I run into some trouble, mostly b/o arguing in the room. Also did some mistakes but not much more than everyone else. Got "unsatisfatory" score for the first 6 months of training, was put on probation and sent out of the main OR. At the same time, two powerful attendings - one of them actually from my own country, with the same accent and same approach to many things - made their mind up that I just unable to be an anesthesiologist, amen. They told me all of this in my face more than once. I got diagnosis of major depression, went through treatment and performed - seemingly - OK for the rest of the first year. I kept a close watch on my evaluations, got good in-service exam results and was almost sure that things are sraightening up. Anyway, i got "unsatisfactory" performance for the second part of the year, too. As areas of weakness were cited "unprofessionalism", "lack of clinical logic" and "weak communication skills". OK, I sucked it up, too. Spoke honestly with PD, started to read and work even harder than before. So far did quite well on at least 3 out of 5 months of CA2 year. No overdoses, lost airways and other obvious attempts to kill somebody. Other attendings, surgeons and patients appear to be satisfied, too. Academical results are good, too.
The problem is that those two attendings still and indeed treat me as I'm not a human being. Enough to say that one of them, right after I finished without problems a large thoracic case with invasive monitors and epidural (all put by me alone, too) wrote evaluation packed with words like "dangerous", "stupid" and "cannot be left without supervision". They also pressed another attending, who is very new in this practice and likes to work with me, a bad evaluation. They both humilitate me on the daily basis and often in front of other people, even current PD himself. They both didn't do a lot of cases with me, though.
I spoke with many people I work with; they generally agree that I'm not any weaker than anyone else, and just being more "relaxed" and "confident" might help. How I can pretend to be relaxed and cool while being under constant unremitting fear is anyone's guess. Also everyone agree that those two are tough guys who are "very difficult to please". At least I know that all common sense measures like reading a lot, politeness, preparedness, thankfulness, enthusiasm, interest, non-arguing and non-questioning do not work for them - everything is on board, and the daily hell just goes on for me. My evaluations for CA2 time are technically all OK with total scores above the level I need in order to get "satisfactory" score - except, of course, those written by those two attendings.
I really thinking about leaving the damned place for good. The six months of CA3 level I already got in addition to my residency time I would like to spend in training of my interest area, which is easy to arrange, but it would mean working with that sweet couple daily for weeks. I only doubt that I would be able to find a place and, more important, escape another prejustice attack having that much bad things in my file already. And I really have absolutely no idea what else to do in order to make things better. As I mentioned, very hard work, enthusiasm, interest, knowledge, accepting of weaknesses, honest attempts to improve (all evident for everyone else around), being prepared and being super-polite only make matters worse, and the more I bang my head against the wall, the worse it all is. As I wrote, I know for sure now that by evaluation scores only I'm doing all right, but I have no hope that tomorrow on that committee meeting I could get "satisfactory" score.
I know that current PD, former PD and many other attendings are backing me, for I spoke with them and, after working closely with me, they assured me that I'm actually a good resident and will be a good doctor, and that, though I have weaker areas, they're not so absolutely bad. The problem is that the two guys aforementioned just do not think so, and I doubt they will ever change their opinion.
If anyone (especially who ever worked in malignant, politic-reeking places) could give any advise about how to manage that difficult situation I would highly appreciate it. Thank you all, and sorry for long post.
