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[hidadimadcom]

Hey everyone! Just got off the Temple WL and have to make a decision by the end of next week. I've selected PTE for OSU but I would appreciate any advice since my situation is quite complicated. Sorry in advance for the long post!

For some background, my partner and I both had a dream program we wanted to attend and we sent LOIs to this school after we were waitlisted earlier this year. At the time, I was accepted to OSU and she was accepted to Penn State, which is ~6 hours away from each other, however, Penn State is close to both our families so she'll have a great support system. Additionally, OSU is ~3 hours from our "LOI School." Over time, we've become content with the distance but now with the wait-list movements from other schools, the situation is getting pretty messy. At the center of the problem is the uncertainty of knowing if either of us will be accepted to the "LOI School" which we will have to attend if accepted. Obviously the best case scenario is if we both get into our top choice, but we know that's highly unlikely.

Ultimately, my proximity to her is a major factor, and Temple is ~2 hours from Penn State. At first glance, it seems like an obvious decision to go to Temple to be closer to my home and partner but there's a small possibility that she ends up at the "LOI school" while I don't, making the distance between us back to ~5 hours. In that situation, I know I would highly regret turning down OSU for temple knowing that OSU is a better school for me and closer to the "LOI School"

Summary: Unsure how much weight I need to give to these different scenarios. I loved almost everything about OSU and second look confirmed that for me. It has a strong neuro and optho department and I know it'll set me up well in the future when we need to couples match. Temple is a solid program as well that is potentially closer to my partner, but with the uncertainty of our status with our "LOI School" I'm in a weird position.

Ohio State
Pros
--Prestige/rank (T30)
--Tons of research opportunities
--Highly flexible curriculum with very few mandatory activities
--Urban environment (Columbus)
--Fantastic neurology/ophthalmology departments
--Total COA ~300k (20k scholarship)
--Can earn in state residency

Cons
--Far from home (6 hr drive) and no local support system
--Internal ranking (ranked in quartiles based on preclinical and clinical grades)
--Matches primarily to Midwest


Temple (North Philly)
Pros
--Close to home (1.5 hour drive) and have a great support system nearby
--Urban environment
--Lots of community service opportunities
--P/F (internal ranking but only based on clinical grades?)

Cons
--North Philly is not the safest but most students live off campus anyway
--Lower rank than OSU
--COA ~ 350k (Haven't received financial aid yet so this is an estimate)
--2 years preclinical instead of 1.5 years
--Anatomy is condensed into an 8 week course at the start of preclinical

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[ValPak00per]

stick with osu

 

[hidadimadcom]

stick with osu

Do you mind explaining your choice?

 

[Bowel-Plumber]

This is such a crappy situation to be in, and there’s honestly no way we could make this decision for you. Objectively, OSU is the much better school.

If she would go to the LOI school because that’s the better option for her (and ultimately leaving you stuck at Temple which is farther away from and the worse school for you to be at), then you should go to OSU as it’s the better school for you. That’s just my opinion.

Edit: I also wanted to add that if you go to OSU then you can receive In-State tuition after M1. Did you factor that into your cost? I think that along with your scholarship should make your COA significantly lower at OSU. And that’s aside from the fact that the program is significantly better than Temples

 

[hidadimadcom]

This is such a crappy situation to be in, and there’s honestly no way we could make this decision for you. Objectively, OSU is the much better school.

If she would go to the LOI school because that’s the better option for her (and ultimately leaving you stuck at Temple which is farther away from and the worse school for you to be at), then you should go to OSU as it’s the better school for you. That’s just my opinion.

Edit: I also wanted to add that if you go to OSU then you can receive In-State tuition after M1. Did you factor that into your cost? I think that along with your scholarship should make your COA significantly lower at OSU. And that’s aside from the fact that the program is significantly better than Temples

Thanks for the input! Yup it comes out to 300k even with the in state tuition. Also getting in state residency is not guaranteed and I've heard it's a pretty tricky process.

I think if she gets into the LOI school she'll definitely attend partly because she feels like it'll be unethical to turn it down after an LOI and also it has been her dream school for a long time. However, I'm not sure how to weigh her chances of getting accepted. It feels stressful because I have a week to decide about temple but our LOI School could technically take forever to let us know about WL movement. Do you mind if I pm you to get some more info?

 

[Bowel-Plumber]

Sure, you can PM me. But I’ll still say what I planned on saying for now.

Your relationship is much more important than what’s considered unethical to this dream school. They’re filling the spot one way or another, trust me. Stuff happens and you need to turn back on an LOI. It’s unethical to send multiple LOIs in the first place but if stuff happens then it isn’t the end of the world. It’s not like you guys were scumbags in the first place. You just need to think about yourselves more than the school because I guarantee you they will just take the next person on the list.

With that aside, it comes down to what your partner would do. If she would choose that dream school because that’s the better option for her, then that’s perfectly fine. You gotta do what you gotta do. With that said, you should do the same. You should go to the better school because it’s what’s better for you just like she would go to the dream school because that’s what’s better for her. There’s no reason you should assume all of the risk in this hypothetical situation while she’s just either going to Penn State or the dream school.

This is a conversation you need to have with her. If she’s going to that dream school if she gets in, then you should go to OSU and drop Temple. If she decides that the dream school is not worth it for your relationship’s sake, then you should go to Temple and she should stay at Penn State. If you both have the chance at getting into this dream school then that’s even better. For me, it’s as simple as that. A relationship is a partnership and there’s no reason one person should assume all the risk while the other reaps the benefit.

There is nothing wrong with either option, and it doesn’t make a relationship weaker if you guys ultimately don’t choose the Penn State/Temple route. It’s perfectly fine because again you gotta do what you gotta do. But you both need to be on the same page of what you’re willing to give up. Sorry if I’m preaching. I hope that was helpful. Feel free to PM if you’d like.

 

[hidadimadcom]

Sure, you can PM me. But I’ll still say what I planned on saying for now.

Your relationship is much more important than what’s considered unethical to this dream school. They’re filling the spot one way or another, trust me. Stuff happens and you need to turn back on an LOI. It’s unethical to send multiple LOIs in the first place but if stuff happens then it isn’t the end of the world. It’s not like you guys were scumbags in the first place. You just need to think about yourselves more than the school because I guarantee you they will just take the next person on the list.

With that aside, it comes down to what your partner would do. If she would choose that dream school because that’s the better option for her, then that’s perfectly fine. You gotta do what you gotta do. With that said, you should do the same. You should go to the better school because it’s what’s better for you just like she would go to the dream school because that’s what’s better for her. There’s no reason you should assume all of the risk in this hypothetical situation while she’s just either going to Penn State or the dream school.

This is a conversation you need to have with her. If she’s going to that dream school if she gets in, then you should go to OSU and drop Temple. If she decides that the dream school is not worth it for your relationship’s sake, then you should go to Temple and she should stay at Penn State. If you both have the chance at getting into this dream school then that’s even better. For me, it’s as simple as that. A relationship is a partnership and there’s no reason one person should assume all the risk while the other reaps the benefit.

There is nothing wrong with either option, and it doesn’t make a relationship weaker if you guys ultimately don’t choose the Penn State/Temple route. It’s perfectly fine because again you gotta do what you gotta do. But you both need to be on the same page of what you’re willing to give up. Sorry if I’m preaching. I hope that was helpful. Feel free to PM if you’d like.

Tysm for such a thoughtful response I really appreciate it! I think we both just need to reevaluate our values and figure out what's best for us individually and for us as a couple. I'll probably wait for temple to give me some more info about their financial aid but I definitely feel a lot more clear minded about the next steps forward. Thank you again!