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Hello,
I learned that I have a "non-academic dishonesty/alcohol/gathering" accusation listed on my student conduct record from half a decade ago. My conduct record states that I was "not responsible" in relation to the event.
I don't drink, and wasn't involved with said gathering. I explained this in my meeting with housing staff at the time of the incident.
Is this something that I need to address?
This sounds like something you do not need to address, but that it would not hurt to address in a very short way. My suggestion:
"During my time at X college, an infraction I was suspected of was listed in my record. I was not responsible for the event mentioned, and I was found not culpable by the university."
You could probably get away with not mentioning it, but just in case you get a reviewer whose reading comprehension is bad and doesn't see the "not responsible" or does not interpret it appropriately, I think something along the lines of this matter of fact way of stating, "This is on my record, and the university did not find me responsible" is a good thing to write on your application. That being said, I imagine some of my colleagues might have different views. I don't think you need to mention your views about drinking or anything else; just that you were found not guilty so that it is repeated in case anyone reads it incorrectly and to make sure there is no doubt.
Ultimately, either way, I highly doubt this will affect your application in any meaningful way.