Physician Couples

[DocLove06]

I met my bf in medical school and we're trying to decide on specialties/residencies. What are some good specialties that couples can go into together?

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[Re3iRtH]

I met my bf in medical school and we're trying to decide on specialties/residencies. What are some good specialties that couples can go into together?

Pathology.

Low Stress.
Lots of time to spend together.
Can easily work together in private practice.
etc.etc.etc.

its probably the ideal specialty for that sort of thing actually.

 

[Noeljan]

I met my bf in medical school and we're trying to decide on specialties/residencies. What are some good specialties that couples can go into together?

hey there, my boyfriend and I are in the same class (we were anatomy partners anyhow, I am aiming for neurosurgery and he is looking towards radiology.

 

[Noeljan]

Pathology.

Low Stress.
Lots of time to spend together.
Can easily work together in private practice.
etc.etc.etc.

its probably the ideal specialty for that sort of thing actually.

If you want the same specialty I think anything would be ok, since you would be together a lot good luck

 

[Blade28]

I met my bf in medical school and we're trying to decide on specialties/residencies. What are some good specialties that couples can go into together?

I'm a little confused - is he a year ahead of you, and already in med school? Aren't you still waiting to start your MS-I year this fall?

And are you still interested in Anesthesia?

 

[cpants]

I don't envy you guys. It will be so hard to get through residency juggling two schedules. You'll never see each other!

 

[Haversian Canal]

I don't envy you guys. It will be so hard to get through residency juggling two schedules. You'll never see each other!

thats why on-call room was created..

 

[Noeljan]

I don't envy you guys. It will be so hard to get through residency juggling two schedules. You'll never see each other!

no one asked for your envyI think residency will be tough no matter what your spouse does. At least this way we understand eachother and have similiar goals and work ethic. This kind of relationship may not be for you, but it is for us. It shouldn't really bother you.

 

[Noeljan]

thats why on-call room was created..

exactly

All kidding aside, the med student/med student relationships that I have seen have seemed to be working pretty well. My boyfriend and I are together most of the day every day, we study together, and for the most part keep eachother calm and on track (I'm a little more OCD than him and he is a tad more laid back with school, so sometimes he puts things in perspective for me and I sometimes have to get on his a@@ at times to do more work but for the most part we are pretty similiar. In other news, I have had friends that have been med students and residents dating non medical people and many of those relationships fell apart. It seems sometimes that it is very difficult for some non medical significant others to understand studying (not UG studying but med school studying), feel ignored, alienated, angry, etc. I am sure it works for some, but I think it takes a very special understanding non medical spouse/significant other to make it work.

 

[HEADintheCLOUDS]

Easiest if you both went for Derm.

 

[Noeljan]

Easiest if you both went for Derm.

lol. Trust me I have soooo tried to think about going into derm (for obvious reasons but I just cannot get the idea of NS out of my mind Once I have something in my head about what I am going to do I am sold on it!

 

[DrBubbles]

Maybe I'm a bit naive, but I say, do what you love. Your SO and you can have whatever kind of relationship you want to at home (when you're there) and I believe you'll be much happier at home AND at work if you're in a field you love. If you're stuck in a field for his sake, you'll be miserable at work, and you'll probably bring it home with you--and he'll have to deal with you in BOTH places.

I'm interested in Family Medicine, and my boyfriend is interested in Internal, and in subspecializing after that. We know life's going to get more stressful, but we also don't like spending all day, every day together. So I think it'll work out great if we do the couples' match into separate specialties. Those first few years of residency will be rough since we won't see much of each other, but we'll both ultimately enjoy what we're doing, we can maintain our individuality, and we'll be excited to see each other those precious moments we're both home together.

 

[DoctaJay]

I agree with Dr. Bubbles. Although it would be nice for both of you to be in the same speciality, that doesnt' necesarrily make the relationship easier. I think what is more ideal is:

1) You both come home after doing what you love
2) Both of you are equally busy or if not, then you both know how to keep yourself busy when the other person is working
3) You both love each other and make time for each other

Also, I am not necessarily sure if couples matching is easier when both are matching to into the same speciality. If you were both competitive to get into the speciality anyway, then it will probably work out. My wife and I went through all for years of college together and we just finished our 1st year. We are interested in different things which is fine.

Have you all thought about kids and when you want to have them and how that would affect you and your practice?

 

[MrBurns10]

lol. Trust me I have soooo tried to think about going into derm (for obvious reasons but I just cannot get the idea of NS out of my mind Once I have something in my head about what I am going to do I am sold on it!

Well, definitely keep an open mind. I'd say 75% of my class were gung-ho surgeons going into rotations, but after getting a small glimpse into the lifestyle, many have decided on different paths. Neurosurg may be for you, but there may be other great fields out there that fit you, too. Don't let them pass you by just because you think you're sold on it now.

And good luck with the couples thing. My fiance and I will be couples matching in a couple years and the idea of both going through residency is tough, but if your relationship is strong enough you'll make it through just fine.

 

[Doctor4Life1769]

I just wish getting into NS, Rads, or Derm was easy to get into the way's it being thrown around in this thread.

I agree with Noeljan with one thing though, it does seem like med student-med student rel's work.

 

[Noeljan]

Well, definitely keep an open mind. I'd say 75% of my class were gung-ho surgeons going into rotations, but after getting a small glimpse into the lifestyle, many have decided on different paths. Neurosurg may be for you, but there may be other great fields out there that fit you, too. Don't let them pass you by just because you think you're sold on it now.

And good luck with the couples thing. My fiance and I will be couples matching in a couple years and the idea of both going through residency is tough, but if your relationship is strong enough you'll make it through just fine.

thanks for the advice
good luck to you too!!!

 

[Noeljan]

I just wish getting into NS, Rads, or Derm was easy to get into the way's it being thrown around in this thread.

I agree with Noeljan with one thing though, it does seem like med student-med student rel's work.

though we only have one year of med school down, we both feel confident that we are on the right track to our specialties and have done what we needed to do first year to be on that path as much as a first year could have done Hopefully we keep pushing on and continue on that road....

 

[Noeljan]

I agree with Dr. Bubbles. Although it would be nice for both of you to be in the same speciality, that doesnt' necesarrily make the relationship easier. I think what is more ideal is:

1) You both come home after doing what you love
2) Both of you are equally busy or if not, then you both know how to keep yourself busy when the other person is working
3) You both love each other and make time for each other

Also, I am not necessarily sure if couples matching is easier when both are matching to into the same speciality. If you were both competitive to get into the speciality anyway, then it will probably work out. My wife and I went through all for years of college together and we just finished our 1st year. We are interested in different things which is fine.

Have you all thought about kids and when you want to have them and how that would affect you and your practice?

hey docjay
We both think 2 kids is a good number. Thinking about timing/etc is a tad stressful. My bf seems to like the idea of being the one with a less stressful/less hour job. His dream job he talks about is some teleradiology where he gets to stay home and work

 

[smq123]

though we only have one year of med school down, we both feel confident that we are on the right track to our specialties and have done what we needed to do first year to be on that path as much as a first year could have done Hopefully we keep pushing on and continue on that road....

All kidding aside, the med student/med student relationships that I have seen have seemed to be working pretty well.

I'm glad that first year went smoothly for you guys.

I just want to warn you not to get too complacent, though.

You've only just started a really long road. You still have Step 1 to conquer (which is 10 times more important, at least, than your first year grades), 3rd year rotations, etc.

A lot of people had relationships fall apart during 2nd year. Even more people had their relationships fall apart during 3rd year - 3rd year can really test your relationship to the breaking point.

I'm happy to say that a lot of couples have survived 3rd year well. But there have also been a lot of bad breakups, broken engagements, and even divorces. So keep being vigilant, and good luck.

(In case you're wondering - about half of the couples that broke up were med student-non med student. The other half were between two med students. So even that isn't necessarily a clear-cut indicator.)

 

[Noeljan]

I'm glad that first year went smoothly for you guys.

I just want to warn you not to get too complacent, though.

You've only just started a really long road. You still have Step 1 to conquer (which is 10 times more important, at least, than your first year grades), 3rd year rotations, etc.

A lot of people had relationships fall apart during 2nd year. Even more people had their relationships fall apart during 3rd year - 3rd year can really test your relationship to the breaking point.

I'm happy to say that a lot of couples have survived 3rd year well. But there have also been a lot of bad breakups, broken engagements, and even divorces. So keep being vigilant, and good luck.

(In case you're wondering - about half of the couples that broke up were med student-non med student. The other half were between two med students. So even that isn't necessarily a clear-cut indicator.)

oh don't worry, I am way too OCD and fearful to ever become complacent I can be doing really well and get a 100 on a test and I am still always affraid I am going to fail the next one in the course Heck even when there is no mathematical way I can do poorly in a course (that my bf will point out to me with his calculations) I still have fear I will fail My boyfriend on the other hand, he is another story when it comes to that

On another note, what is it about 2nd year that you think makes them breakup? Also, what is everyone (med student relationships that met this year) about living together? My bf really wants us to (I practically live at his house now) but he wants to move into my place. Are you guys/gals living together next year???

 

[Dr 14220]

arrogance......maybe u should be a NS

 

[Noeljan]

arrogance......maybe u should be a NS

lol. What is so arrogant about what I said?

 

[rampagez99]

arrogance......maybe u should be a NS

who let this premed in here?

 

[ZagDoc]

My preceptor this last roundabout was a peds hem/onc doc married to a neurosurgeon. They met and dated in residency, she said it sucked arse but worked out for the best cause now they both love what they do. Even though they are both still very busy its much easier to maximize their time together when they don't feel the need to fill that time with complaining about their jobs.

I second the recommendation you both go after the field you can see yourself loving for the next 40 years. Regardless of what field you choose, the nice thing about having a SO in medicine is they understand the time demands. And vice versa. Nice thing is couples match lets you do just that.

 

[Doctor J]

thats really funny

ive always been against being with another pre-med and hopefully when i get to medical school...med student

idk just my initial feeling, dont like to bring my work home so to speak, and i always have to be the smart one so its just going to be a bloodly stalemate

i dont really like to talk about intellegent things with my ladyfreind

Because of his extremely low post count, his banning piqued my curiosity. I looked at all his other posts and couldn't find anything remotely offensive. Was christiantroy banned for this post? Seriously? Are we that fragile that the statement "i dont really like to talk about intellegent things with my ladyfreind" sends us into a frothing tizzy?

Good lord. What's happening to SDN?

 

[EMDrMoe]

This thread has been quiet for a while, and I'm following up on background info for my research on medical marriages within Emergency Medicine, 33% of our respondents are EM/EM couples. So far the data is interesting. My husband and I are 3rd yr residents in the same program.

My best personal advice? If you want it to work, it can work, if you work at it.
Enjoy the road

 

[Catalystik]

I met my spouse in the first year of med school, and got married the last year. We went into Peds and ObGyn, which dovetailed nicely when we went into private practice. We didn't use the couples match, BTW, we agreed to limit residency applications to one very large city.

 

[Plue00]

You guys can always try radiology....

Work from home... both of you. Imagine having sex WHILE doing your work?

 

[deleted77919]

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[PeepshowJohnny]

You guys can always try radiology....

Work from home... both of you. Imagine having sex WHILE doing your work?

Dude you just blew my mind.

Imagine the dictated report.

"Likely representing atelectasis *moan*. However *long groan* consolidation can't be *panting* excluded. Correlating with clinical Yes yes yes Oh God yes! findings suggested."

 

[deleted77919]

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[michaelrack]

I met my bf in medical school and we're trying to decide on specialties/residencies. What are some good specialties that couples can go into together?

psychiatry- it will make your fights and arguements more interesting.

 

[gabem480]

Surgery and Anesthesiology you can do the operations together

 

[MossPoh]

I know quite a few physician couples. It seems that the speciality they like is most important than being together. I know EM/FM, Orthopedic Surgery/EM, Internal medicine/Anesthesiology, Anes/Family Practice. I think, aside from treating the relationship with extreme care for the span of school, it is critical to find places that have a relatively high concentration of programs that you are both interested in for your wanted speciality. I don't know much about it, but I was told that couples match was extremely painful...at least for my friend. Of course, she is derm and her soon to be husband is plastic surgery....so that didn't make it any easier.

 

[MrBurns10]

Of course, she is derm and her soon to be husband is plastic surgery....so that didn't make it any easier.

I can't even imagine going through that

 

[alibai3ah]

Dude you just blew my mind.

Imagine the dictated report.

"Likely representing atelectasis *moan*. However *long groan* consolidation can't be *panting* excluded. Correlating with clinical Yes yes yes Oh God yes! findings suggested."

haha you are hilarious

 

[EMDrMoe]

My residency director actually stated to me "I'd be more worried if you DIDN'T want the same vacation time!" It hasn't been a problem at all. We don't see each other a lot, but I don't think that has much to do with the specifics.

 

[kmackers]

If you're stuck in a field for his sake, you'll be miserable at work, and you'll probably bring it home with you--and he'll have to deal with you in BOTH places.
.

Not to mention that he is your boyfriend, not husband. It would be a sad day if you had picked a speciality to be with him and then you ended up spliting up a year down the road. Then your miserable at work and heartbroken.. tisk tisk tisk..

 

[Blesbok]

I can't even imagine the number of 0s at the end of the cumulative pay check

fixed

 

[MrBurns10]

fixed

haha, thanks. There's a neurosurgeon at my school who's married to another neurosurgeon. Talk about 0's...

 

[mikedc813]

Even if you end up in the same residency program as your significant other, you'll probably not end up seeing each other as much as you think. You may be at different hospitals on certain months, one person may be on nights while the other isn't, etc. I couples matched and we have gone several days without seeing each other (she's ob/gyn and i'm rad onc doing prelim medicine now), but overall we see each other a fair amount.