You, The Doctor’s Spouse

Medical Spouse

Welcome to the new you—“The Doctor’s Spouse.” Yes, you have had your own identity up until this point, but now you are not only a Mrs. or Mr., you’re a Doctor’s Mrs. or Mr. Once people discover this about you, whether it’s intentional or not, their perspective and assumptions of you will change.

Some spouses won’t mind this change and will embrace it. Other spouses may initially feel uncomfortable and judged. Wherever you fall on the spectrum, I invite you to acknowledge this new role you have (whether it’s welcome or not!) and prepare yourself to navigate the world under this umbrella. You can use this situation to discover more about what you really want for yourself and your family and then create an authentic life based on your values, priorities, and desires, not on society’s expectations of a doctor’s family. How? Let’s dive in!

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What To Expect: Intern Year

Medical Spouse

You’ve likely heard the rumors about the dreaded Intern Year. It’s the worst of the worst. Say goodbye to your partner and hello to lonely days and nights. But are the rumors really true? And if they are, what can you do about it?

I remember when my husband was a few months into MS3, and we were feeling the med school blues. Third year was particularly challenging for my family, so I already felt like my life and relationship were struggling. One day, I happened to attend a “Baby and Me” yoga class with my nine-month old, and the mom sitting next to me started a conversation by asking me what my husband did. I replied “he’s in medical school,” and she just laughed and shook her head. She replied, “My husband is an intern. I wish someone had told me how horrible it was going to be. If you think it’s bad now, just wait. It gets so much worse.”

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Should You Consider Romance When Selecting a Med School?

bropoalypse

Med school can test a relationship.

Lauren wrote in to ask us to what extent her love life should play a role in her selection of a medical school, and how we thought med school challenges relationships. Gabe Conely, Joyce Wahba, Claire Casteneda, and new host Brendan George discussed their perspective on how med school can affect romantic relationships, and what role it should play in the selection of a school to attend.

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Division of Labor: How to Keep a Household Running While Your Spouse is In Training

Medical Spouse

By Amy Rakowczyk, SDN Staff Writer

One of the biggest challenges that arises during medical school is actually all of the non-medical school “stuff”: namely, household duties and chores. How much help can you expect from your spouse in this regard, and how will you divide up the duties?

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What to Expect as a Med School Spouse: Years 1 and 2

Medical Spouse

By Amy Rakowczyk, SDN Staff Writer

Congratulations! You are now officially a Medical Spouse. This is a highly rewarding, and also a highly challenging role. You’ve undoubtedly heard that “medical school is hard” and that there is a lot of studying and exams ahead. Your spouse is about to embark upon a completely new path, and you as the spouse, are along for the ride. This article is here to help you understand what’s in store so you can prepare yourself for the next two years!

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Sustainability: How Your Partnership Can Survive and Flourish During a Medical Education and Career

Medical Spouse

Happy New Year from Student Doctor Network! I have always loved the beginning of a new year. It’s a time to reflect on the past, look ahead to the future, find a fresh perspective on your life and situation, and create new wishes for yourself and your family going forward. There is an electricity that surrounds us and gives us hope that not only can we achieve what we’re dreaming of, but we can also find more happiness and fun in our lives.

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Not “Ours” Anymore: Sharing Our Doctor Spouses

Medical Spouse

By Amy Rakowczyk

One thing is certain during medical school: your medical spouse is going to study and work a lot of hours. This is a necessary part of becoming a doctor. They need years of studying, preparing, and training in order to be able to perform the job. The time required means that you, the medical student spouse/partner, will have less time with them. There will be fewer hours when they are available. That is the hard reality.

It’s easy to start thinking about how unfair this is. You are left with gaping holes of time and are by default in charge of all the non-medical school items. You are working harder too, with less support. The unfairness of it can quickly turn into resentment and bitterness.

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Chronicles of a Med Student: Reaching Out

Chronicles of a Med Student

I’m sorry, I can’t—I have to study. These are words that have become so routine to me that I barely have to think about them before they come out of my mouth. Ugh, how has it become so reflexive? I was worried that this would happen, at least in the first two years of medical school when I would spend more time with my computer and books than with actual people. The sad thing is that whenever I have a free second, it’s not really a free second because I just find myself wondering if I should be doing something at the moment instead of thinking about making plans with friends I never see anymore. And these are not only the friends I’ve made this year. Sadly those I neglect most are generally the friendships I’ve cultivated over many years.

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