As for whether schools communicate with each other, I had already been accepted to my state school when I got pulled off of the waitlist at my top choice. The next day I got an email from my state school interviewer (on the adcom) saying something about how rumors travel fast, then in parentheses saying how all schools let others know of acceptances and was wondering if I would still be there in the fall. So they do communicate, I just don't know the extent.
As for telling a school its your top choice, I don't remember if I did that during my interviews but I did send out letters of intent to a couple of my top choices indicating that each one of them was my top choice. I didn't really think that they would communicate with each other at that point and it didn't hurt me because in the end I did get into my TRUE top choice. However, I don't know how honest one should be either because at one interview, I was asked, if accepted, would I definitely attend. Now some would argue that if I definitely wouldn't attend, I shouldn't have applied there in the first place. But we all know how random this process is so, if this school had been at the top of my list of schools I had been accepted to, I would attend. Anyway, since I was still unsure of what my prospects would be in the future, I told my interviewer that I would have to consider any other acceptances I had and figure out where I would be happiest, which is true anyway. I got waitlisted and I just wonder, if I had just answered yes, would I have been given an outright acceptance?
Dana