Second Thoughts about Med School?

[westcoastmess]

Maybe it's just because it's summer-time. Or maybe I just need a venue to vent and talk things out, but I've been having second thoughts/major gripes about medical school recently and don't feel like I can talk to my parents, advisors, etc. about this. So why not post on SDN? Sorry if this is more train of thought than coherent story.

I just finished M1 and I'm doing research over the summer. I really enjoy science, I like interacting with patients (actually, I love it), I love the ideals of medicine, and generally, I love my classmates. Pre-med, pursuing medicine, etc. has always taken me interesting places and let me see interesting things. The idea of a career that combines science and social work with respect and decent money is what always attracted me to medicine. I took time off before medical school and worked a normal 9-5 job, enjoyed the life of happy hours, club hopping, dating, meeting people, etc. Some days I really miss that life (especially as a gay guy in his 20's). I was able to maintain a pretty decent social life during M1 so it's not as if I don't do those things often still, but medical school always seem like a major weight on my shoulders.

I developed great test taking skills as an undergrad so I can pass exams with relatively minimal effort compared to some of my peers...though, I admit I don't always retain as much as I should. That's definitely not to say that I didn't study hard during M1 (exam periods were hell)....but I also typically went out 3-4 days/week. At the end of M1, I finished about average/slightly above average. And, considering I go to a Top 5 school, we're P/F with no rank, and my classmates are insanely brilliant, I'm pretty OK with my performance. However, M1 was frustrating at times because of the long class hours, the fact that many lectures didn't seem useful at all, and the fact that my school both teaches and assesses more on obscure facts than larger concepts....such that I often feel like I'm missing out on bigger ideas. I enjoyed some classes very much, felt relatively 'meh' about others. At the end of the day though....maybe it's all a big act on the part of my peers, but I just don't feel like I have the same enthusiasm for the material as my classmates. I guess the sense that they feel I'm bizarre for caring more about my life outside medicine than getting the highest score possible on an exam. For me, school is school. Career is career. But career is meant to support the rest of your life, not define it. Sometimes, I just get the sense that this ideology doesn't mesh with a career in medicine.

I've been dating a student in another grad school at my university for about 7 months. He's on a summer job in the city that's well paid, flexible, his company holds fun events, they treat their interns with respect and they reward you for your work (financially, socially, etc.). I'm spending my summer in lab, he gets treated to dinners out, concerts, happy hours, kayaking, etc. It just seems like such a departure from medicine- "you're smart and a hard worker, we want to make you as happy as possible so you can continue to do great work for us." He has flexibility with where he can work and apply for jobs (anywhere in the country).

Alternatively, I look at my situation. I have 3 years (minimum, most people at my school do a 5th research year). Followed by 4-7 years of residency where I'll get paid terribly and rarely have time off. I also have to go through the Match, may not end up in the city I want with the people I want to be with, etc.

I guess recently I've been getting the sense that I do really like medicine, but maybe not as much as my peers. And, that thinking about how long I'm going to be in school before getting a real job and the generally inflexibility that afforded to me in terms of balancing outside life with career maybe just isn't a good fit for me.

Thoughts?

I could go on more.

---

Members don't see this ad.

 

[BrooklynBulls]

I think it's a serious question you need to consider...but think more broadly than short-term gains. You let the opportunity not to enter medical school so early pass you by-- that was your choice. Your 20s will now not be the fun-filled escapade you perhaps have seen others have. You could leave the school now; it would certainly minimize your debt and time investment of leaving later. But if you're really interested in medicine, and medicine is what you'd like to do, then investing the next 6-10 years in the immense training necessary is the evil required. You should be able to pay off the debt within 5 years of practicing, and your wild and free 20s could simply be your wild and free 30s.

Freedom comes once you have the training and you are in demand, or before the training begins. If this is the career you want, you're already 1 year through...not to mention the likely hoops you had to jump through simply to gain acceptance.

FWIW, I had to consider this question similarly. I'll be starting DO school next month, and I'm pretty young-- 22. But I want to do this while I'm still young enough to have the stamina, and because I'd like to be able to have a family and spend a huge amount of time with it. I plan on working 30-40 hour weeks as a physician (let's see if I can make it a reality) and being relatively unencumbered to spend time enjoying myself, my family, and the outside world, while still well-compensated. Hope that helps.

 

[PharmaTope]

Maybe it's just because it's summer-time. Or maybe I just need a venue to vent and talk things out, but I've been having second thoughts/major gripes about medical school recently and don't feel like I can talk to my parents, advisors, etc. about this. So why not post on SDN? Sorry if this is more train of thought than coherent story.

I just finished M1 and I'm doing research over the summer. I really enjoy science, I like interacting with patients (actually, I love it), I love the ideals of medicine, and generally, I love my classmates. Pre-med, pursuing medicine, etc. has always taken me interesting places and let me see interesting things. The idea of a career that combines science and social work with respect and decent money is what always attracted me to medicine. I took time off before medical school and worked a normal 9-5 job, enjoyed the life of happy hours, club hopping, dating, meeting people, etc. Some days I really miss that life (especially as a gay guy in his 20's). I was able to maintain a pretty decent social life during M1 so it's not as if I don't do those things often still, but medical school always seem like a major weight on my shoulders.

I developed great test taking skills as an undergrad so I can pass exams with relatively minimal effort compared to some of my peers...though, I admit I don't always retain as much as I should. That's definitely not to say that I didn't study hard during M1 (exam periods were hell)....but I also typically went out 3-4 days/week. At the end of M1, I finished about average/slightly above average. And, considering I go to a Top 5 school, we're P/F with no rank, and my classmates are insanely brilliant, I'm pretty OK with my performance. However, M1 was frustrating at times because of the long class hours, the fact that many lectures didn't seem useful at all, and the fact that my school both teaches and assesses more on obscure facts than larger concepts....such that I often feel like I'm missing out on bigger ideas. I enjoyed some classes very much, felt relatively 'meh' about others. At the end of the day though....maybe it's all a big act on the part of my peers, but I just don't feel like I have the same enthusiasm for the material as my classmates. I guess the sense that they feel I'm bizarre for caring more about my life outside medicine than getting the highest score possible on an exam. For me, school is school. Career is career. But career is meant to support the rest of your life, not define it. Sometimes, I just get the sense that this ideology doesn't mesh with a career in medicine.

I've been dating a student in another grad school at my university for about 7 months. He's on a summer job in the city that's well paid, flexible, his company holds fun events, they treat their interns with respect and they reward you for your work (financially, socially, etc.). I'm spending my summer in lab, he gets treated to dinners out, concerts, happy hours, kayaking, etc. It just seems like such a departure from medicine- "you're smart and a hard worker, we want to make you as happy as possible so you can continue to do great work for us." He has flexibility with where he can work and apply for jobs (anywhere in the country).

Alternatively, I look at my situation. I have 3 years (minimum, most people at my school do a 5th research year). Followed by 4-7 years of residency where I'll get paid terribly and rarely have time off. I also have to go through the Match, may not end up in the city I want with the people I want to be with, etc.

I guess recently I've been getting the sense that I do really like medicine, but maybe not as much as my peers. And, that thinking about how long I'm going to be in school before getting a real job and the generally inflexibility that afforded to me in terms of balancing outside life with career maybe just isn't a good fit for me.

Thoughts?

I could go on more.

keep in mind, you arent permanent employees. could you see yourself doing that the rest of your life? real work world is brutal but you gotta find what can get you through the day to be honest. the whole 9-5 doesnt really exist in the USA anymore. you could always request a year off to continue "more research" before changing your mind

 

[Dr Love]

I recommend you drop out while you still can, things will only get worse for you.

 

[adaptation1]

eh..

 

[OveractiveBrain]

Medicine is a field that first takes alot from you. It demands your time, your energy, your money, and the immediate sensation is loss, suffering, and sacrifice. The financial return is generally weak compared to some other jobs (especially given the amount of time you have to dedicate). But the job security is certainly better than any job, and the financial reward is enough to make anybody comfortable in life. What medicine offers (that most other "have fun and make money" jobs do not offer) is a sense of emotional, intelectual, and societal fulfillment. You heal people. You go to work every day and prolong some one's life. Make their life better. People look up to doctors because they "know everything." The lifetime reward of being a physician can be summed up in this line: medicine will empty your pockets but fill your soul. If you can find a way to line your pockets while filling your soul, medicine is even better. Few other fields offer both. It doesn't matter how many cars or yachts you buy; if you don't love what you do, you can never feel an empty sorrowful soul. Here's a little more harsh way to look at it.

Do you want to be a party animal like you were in college for the rest of your life? Are you REALLY going to want to go club hopping and go to concerts when you're 45? Do you want kids? You want to able to take care of your partner? Do you want to do good in the world, to really help people who can't help themselves? Yes. You have to sacrifice your 20s. You have to sacrifice all the fun you see others having. When they have HIV, Cirrhosis, and I could have gone into business. I was part of, but left, a now very successful internet startup to come to medical school. Those guys, guys I went to college with, are worth millions, go to vegas all the time, and are having the "awesome cool life." Do I get jealous? Yeah. Do I wish I had as much money as they do? Yeah. But then they talk about what they do and I just find myself mentally slamming my head against a wall. I just don't care, it doesn't interest me at all. I love medicine. I like seeing pyelonephritis in the ER, then find out the ER physicians missed the Fever + Headache + Stiff neck but now the LP is useless because Rocehphin was already given. I get excited about that.

Medicine is a long, hard road. It provides a comfortable lifestyle once freedom is acheived. It provides a skill set that is always in demand, anywhere, in literally any country on the planet. It provides emotional and social rewards barely held by any other job. If having fun and making money is your priority, medical school is hard. But realize that most of the time, having fun and making money now translates into dissatisfcation and mid life crises later on. If helping people, contributing to society, social service, and comfort in life are your priority, medical school is perfect. It is a long, hard road. I'm not even done. Medical SCHOOL was probably the worst part on that road. It makes you question everything you've done, everything you've decided. But I promise what comes after is totally worth it.

 

[EgotiStick]

Medicine is a field that first takes alot from you. It demands your time, your energy, your money, and the immediate sensation is loss, suffering, and sacrifice. The financial return is generally weak compared to some other jobs (especially given the amount of time you have to dedicate). But the job security is certainly better than any job, and the financial reward is enough to make anybody comfortable in life. What medicine offers (that most other "have fun and make money" jobs do not offer) is a sense of emotional, intelectual, and societal fulfillment. You heal people. You go to work every day and prolong some one's life. Make their life better. People look up to doctors because they "know everything." The lifetime reward of being a physician can be summed up in this line: medicine will empty your pockets but fill your soul. If you can find a way to line your pockets while filling your soul, medicine is even better. Few other fields offer both. It doesn't matter how many cars or yachts you buy; if you don't love what you do, you can never feel an empty sorrowful soul. Here's a little more harsh way to look at it. Do you want to be a party animal like you were in college for the rest of your life? Are you REALLY going to want to go club hopping and go to concerts when you're 45? Do you want kids? You want to able to take care of your partner? Do you want to do good in the world, to really help people who can't help themselves? Yes. You have to sacrifice your 20s. You have to sacrifice all the fun you see others having. When they have HIV, Cirrhosis, and I could have gone into business. I was part of, but left, a now very successful internet startup to come to medical school. Those guys, guys I went to college with, are worth millions, go to vegas all the time, and are having the "awesome cool life." Do I get jealous? Yeah. Do I wish I had as much money as they do? Yeah. But then they talk about what they do and I just find myself mentally slamming my head against a wall. I just don't care, it doesn't interest me at all. I love medicine. I like seeing pyelonephritis in the ER, then find out the ER physicians missed the Fever + Headache + Stiff neck but now the LP is useless because Rocehphin was already given. I get excited about that. Medicine is a long, hard road. It provides a comfortable lifestyle once freedom is acheived. It provides a skill set that is always in demand, anywhere, in literally any country on the planet. It provides emotional and social rewards barely held by any other job. If having fun and making money is your priority, medical school is hard. But realize that most of the time, having fun and making money now translates into dissatisfcation and mid life crises later on. If helping people, contributing to society, social service, and comfort in life are your priority, medical school is perfect. It is a long, hard road. I'm not even done. Medical SCHOOL was probably the worst part on that road. It makes you question everything you've done, everything you've decided. But I promise what comes after is totally worth it.

WALL OF TEXT INCOMING!

OP: Just keep plugging away. I took "time off" before starting medical school as well, and I pretty much echo your sentiments (ditto on going out a lot as an M1). I'm pretty much an eternal optimist so I don't really doubt myself, but you're not alone second guessing all of the striving that has to be undertaken.

Sometimes its a slog.

 

[panamishe]

OP- first year is a lot more tedious than second year. second year is harder but more relevant to the field of medicine. i think you'll enjoy that more! also, like aa few others have said...you need to have a broader view of your situation. go into a specialty like emergency medicine or anesthesia that does shift work so that you can have the lifestyle you want while having a career you love for the rest of your life

 

[Bartelby]

I'm seeing:

Pros:
-You are doing above average at a top 5 med school
-You go out 3-4 times a week
-You love working with patients

Cons:
-Your classmates appear to like the material more than you
-You recognize that you will work long hours and will be everyone's b*tch for the next 7 years

I think you should stick with it. You would be surprised at how similar many of your classmates feel (if my experience is any indication) about doing the volume of memorizing minutiae that is required in the basic science years. I think many if not most of us get down at some point during MS1 and 2 thinking how tedious it is and how dim the next few years look. And I will be honest, I resent the fact that in the past two years I have only taken one real vacation. On balance though it gets better and it sounds like you have a fairly good work/life balance going. Just keep these things in mind when you are considering what specialties to apply to (do you really want to be on the ortho floor at 5 AM each day, or could you do sports med PM&R for instance).

 

[OpalOnyx]

Maybe it's just because it's summer-time. Or maybe I just need a venue to vent and talk things out, but I've been having second thoughts/major gripes about medical school recently and don't feel like I can talk to my parents, advisors, etc. about this. So why not post on SDN? Sorry if this is more train of thought than coherent story.

I just finished M1 and I'm doing research over the summer. I really enjoy science, I like interacting with patients (actually, I love it), I love the ideals of medicine, and generally, I love my classmates. Pre-med, pursuing medicine, etc. has always taken me interesting places and let me see interesting things. The idea of a career that combines science and social work with respect and decent money is what always attracted me to medicine. I took time off before medical school and worked a normal 9-5 job, enjoyed the life of happy hours, club hopping, dating, meeting people, etc. Some days I really miss that life (especially as a gay guy in his 20's). I was able to maintain a pretty decent social life during M1 so it's not as if I don't do those things often still, but medical school always seem like a major weight on my shoulders.

I developed great test taking skills as an undergrad so I can pass exams with relatively minimal effort compared to some of my peers...though, I admit I don't always retain as much as I should. That's definitely not to say that I didn't study hard during M1 (exam periods were hell)....but I also typically went out 3-4 days/week. At the end of M1, I finished about average/slightly above average. And, considering I go to a Top 5 school, we're P/F with no rank, and my classmates are insanely brilliant, I'm pretty OK with my performance. However, M1 was frustrating at times because of the long class hours, the fact that many lectures didn't seem useful at all, and the fact that my school both teaches and assesses more on obscure facts than larger concepts....such that I often feel like I'm missing out on bigger ideas. I enjoyed some classes very much, felt relatively 'meh' about others. At the end of the day though....maybe it's all a big act on the part of my peers, but I just don't feel like I have the same enthusiasm for the material as my classmates. I guess the sense that they feel I'm bizarre for caring more about my life outside medicine than getting the highest score possible on an exam. For me, school is school. Career is career. But career is meant to support the rest of your life, not define it. Sometimes, I just get the sense that this ideology doesn't mesh with a career in medicine.

I've been dating a student in another grad school at my university for about 7 months. He's on a summer job in the city that's well paid, flexible, his company holds fun events, they treat their interns with respect and they reward you for your work (financially, socially, etc.). I'm spending my summer in lab, he gets treated to dinners out, concerts, happy hours, kayaking, etc. It just seems like such a departure from medicine- "you're smart and a hard worker, we want to make you as happy as possible so you can continue to do great work for us." He has flexibility with where he can work and apply for jobs (anywhere in the country).

Alternatively, I look at my situation. I have 3 years (minimum, most people at my school do a 5th research year). Followed by 4-7 years of residency where I'll get paid terribly and rarely have time off. I also have to go through the Match, may not end up in the city I want with the people I want to be with, etc.

I guess recently I've been getting the sense that I do really like medicine, but maybe not as much as my peers. And, that thinking about how long I'm going to be in school before getting a real job and the generally inflexibility that afforded to me in terms of balancing outside life with career maybe just isn't a good fit for me.

Thoughts?

I could go on more.

Instead of comparing your life with your bf's, I think it would be to your advantage to think of him and spending time with him as a fabulous break from the medicine life.

Everyone has their own path towards happiness. I also worked a 9 to 5 job not long ago. While it may have seemed glamorous to others, to me - it wasn't the BEST fit. Medicine is.

If you love to learn and you still have a good balance (sounds like you do), press on. And be proud/happy to.

And kudos you for having this amazing non-medicine bf with whom you can spend time relaxing and unwinding without having to talk about or think about anything having to do with school!

that sounds so amazing. so enjoy it and have fun instead of "comparing" his life with yours.

Continue to focus on what makes you happy... especially the things outside of school Because that balance is what recharges and makes you so much better IN school. You already have a great balance going. Stop overthinking and just go back to being awesome.

 

[OpalOnyx]

Medicine is a field that first takes alot from you. It demands your time, your energy, your money, and the immediate sensation is loss, suffering, and sacrifice. The financial return is generally weak compared to some other jobs (especially given the amount of time you have to dedicate). But the job security is certainly better than any job, and the financial reward is enough to make anybody comfortable in life. What medicine offers (that most other "have fun and make money" jobs do not offer) is a sense of emotional, intelectual, and societal fulfillment. You heal people. You go to work every day and prolong some one's life. Make their life better. People look up to doctors because they "know everything." The lifetime reward of being a physician can be summed up in this line: medicine will empty your pockets but fill your soul. If you can find a way to line your pockets while filling your soul, medicine is even better. Few other fields offer both. It doesn't matter how many cars or yachts you buy; if you don't love what you do, you can never feel an empty sorrowful soul. Here's a little more harsh way to look at it. Do you want to be a party animal like you were in college for the rest of your life? Are you REALLY going to want to go club hopping and go to concerts when you're 45? Do you want kids? You want to able to take care of your partner? Do you want to do good in the world, to really help people who can't help themselves? Yes. You have to sacrifice your 20s. You have to sacrifice all the fun you see others having. When they have HIV, Cirrhosis, and I could have gone into business. I was part of, but left, a now very successful internet startup to come to medical school. Those guys, guys I went to college with, are worth millions, go to vegas all the time, and are having the "awesome cool life." Do I get jealous? Yeah. Do I wish I had as much money as they do? Yeah. But then they talk about what they do and I just find myself mentally slamming my head against a wall. I just don't care, it doesn't interest me at all. I love medicine. I like seeing pyelonephritis in the ER, then find out the ER physicians missed the Fever + Headache + Stiff neck but now the LP is useless because Rocehphin was already given. I get excited about that. Medicine is a long, hard road. It provides a comfortable lifestyle once freedom is acheived. It provides a skill set that is always in demand, anywhere, in literally any country on the planet. It provides emotional and social rewards barely held by any other job. If having fun and making money is your priority, medical school is hard. But realize that most of the time, having fun and making money now translates into dissatisfcation and mid life crises later on. If helping people, contributing to society, social service, and comfort in life are your priority, medical school is perfect. It is a long, hard road. I'm not even done. Medical SCHOOL was probably the worst part on that road. It makes you question everything you've done, everything you've decided. But I promise what comes after is totally worth it.

I love your posts.... but please.... PARAGRAPHS!!!

 

[OveractiveBrain]

WALL OF TEXT INCOMING!

OP: Just keep plugging away. I took "time off" before starting medical school as well, and I pretty much echo your sentiments (ditto on going out a lot as an M1). I'm pretty much an eternal optimist so I don't really doubt myself, but you're not alone second guessing all of the striving that has to be undertaken.

Sometimes its a slog.

and

I love your posts.... but please.... PARAGRAPHS!!!

Yeah, i guess the hospital's security policy allows for posting on SDN, just not the formatting i would like... editting on the resident computers now

 

[westcoastmess]

Thanks for the replies guys...it's good to know other people think about the same things I do sometimes.

I guess being around other people who seem to be able to maintain more normal lives has just made me jealous lately. I.e. Why am I putting myself through this if there are other careers that are decent, provide good pay, and let you live the rest of your life a little bit more. Or, alternatively, have you work hard, but reward you with good pay, respect, and treatment. I've had a couple of experiences lately where I've just felt like med student, residents, etc. get drug through the dirt despite working so hard for their patients vs. a lawyer, financial analyst, programmer, etc. that gets a year-end bonus, free catered dinners if they work late, etc.

I love medicine. I like helping other people, working in free clinic as a first year just brings a smile to my face everytime I get down about schoolwork, etc. I also could see myself being happy once I'm a physician and have a bit more control over my career. I never intended to go into a long hours surgical specialty, more interested in dermatology, internal med or peds, hem/onc, and neurology now (broad, yeah) as a MS1-2 but that could change.

I've more or less been thinking along the lines of....how old am I gonna be when I finish all of this? will the investment of 7-8 more years of school really be worth it? how am I going to maintain a relationship through third year and residency? what happens if I can't get a residency position in the location I want, where my friends or family are, etc.?

These are just considerations that seem more controllable in other fields (even if for instance, you have to sacrifice pay or position to be where you want to be) and I've just been questioning whether this is all worth it considering what we put ourselves through as aspiring physicians. I can't really think of many other careers where you just feel like you have very little control over your future and your own life in the same way medicine does. It's also hard as a med student, because intuitively you don't want to talk to your faculty and mentors about this issue as it might reflect poorly on your dedication to medicine. So, it's hard to find someone for advice about it-- but clearly, we're all thinking about elements of this question more or less.

Ultimately, I thought about a lot of these issues before applying to medical school. I basically came to the conclusion that despite these fears, I had always enjoyed everything I've done related to medicine and was OK with riding out the journey and growing as a person in the process.

Any other advice/comments/suggestions would be appreciated.

I've been getting anxious enough about these questions lately to notice it's really been bothering me. :/

 

[carolinablue]

im about to start medical school in august...and i have been having the exact same fears and troubled thoughts as you....i dont have any advice because i haven't even started medical school yet but i have been having doubts....
everything i want in life (that money can buy) i see my friends already getting....they have apartments, cars, bikes, girlfriends and wives.....do they LOVEEE their careers? I dont know....who knows...half the people on these forums probably dont even really LOVE being a doctor anyways...except in the psychiatry residency forums, those guys seem to really like their field and jobs.
I have doubts, going to start at a un-known DO school in the south, so if anything I am not even gaining alot of prestige that everyone else is getting...but thinking of actually being a doctor makes me happy and excited.

when you break it down...you don't like the other careers out there...you like the perks they come with early on, but you dont like the actual career...the reason why they have all these perks (parties, events, ect) is because the actual job is so damn boring that the company needs to do something to keep people working for them....nobody gives a crap about you having fun in a hospital because they all know if you don't wanna be there, they can replace you with a 1000 other well qualified doctors who would love the opportunity.

if you compare yourself to others, you will NEVER be happy....nothing is ever what it seems....you can never get your cake and eat it too...nobody can...there is a price to pay for every luxory...and the price for medicine is having free time in your 20's...

 

[Sonya]

I haven't read all the prev posts, but i just want to bring out a few points.
* Make sure what you are feeling about quitting is REAL. i.e. it is not the effect of short term stresses. I'm really struggling with M1, and so sometimes i feel like giving up. but, I remind myself how supremely badly i wanted to be here for the past many years. and, i usually find when a stress goes away (exam passes, etc), i look at the idea of giving up and think its silly.

*if this is not a fleeting thought, then consider it seriously. its only going to get harder and harder as you go through third yr/residency. better to stop earlier than later (ur spending a lot on tuition probably). but, i would be imagine it would be VERY hard to restart medicine if u drop out willingly.

* You don't need to go to the top tier residency program to become a doctor. You've chosen a medical school, but maybe look more into the flexibility and hours when you choose a residency. Maybe change your school? (that is going to be hard, but if its the only alternative to quitting, then think about it).

Just my opinion.

 

[EgotiStick]

Thanks for the replies guys...it's good to know other people think about the same things I do sometimes.

I guess being around other people who seem to be able to maintain more normal lives has just made me jealous lately. I.e. Why am I putting myself through this if there are other careers that are decent, provide good pay, and let you live the rest of your life a little bit more. Or, alternatively, have you work hard, but reward you with good pay, respect, and treatment. I've had a couple of experiences lately where I've just felt like med student, residents, etc. get drug through the dirt despite working so hard for their patients vs. a lawyer, financial analyst, programmer, etc. that gets a year-end bonus, free catered dinners if they work late, etc.

I love medicine. I like helping other people, working in free clinic as a first year just brings a smile to my face everytime I get down about schoolwork, etc. I also could see myself being happy once I'm a physician and have a bit more control over my career. I never intended to go into a long hours surgical specialty, more interested in dermatology, internal med or peds, hem/onc, and neurology now (broad, yeah) as a MS1-2 but that could change.

I've more or less been thinking along the lines of....how old am I gonna be when I finish all of this? will the investment of 7-8 more years of school really be worth it? how am I going to maintain a relationship through third year and residency? what happens if I can't get a residency position in the location I want, where my friends or family are, etc.?

These are just considerations that seem more controllable in other fields (even if for instance, you have to sacrifice pay or position to be where you want to be) and I've just been questioning whether this is all worth it considering what we put ourselves through as aspiring physicians. I can't really think of many other careers where you just feel like you have very little control over your future and your own life in the same way medicine does. It's also hard as a med student, because intuitively you don't want to talk to your faculty and mentors about this issue as it might reflect poorly on your dedication to medicine. So, it's hard to find someone for advice about it-- but clearly, we're all thinking about elements of this question more or less.

Ultimately, I thought about a lot of these issues before applying to medical school. I basically came to the conclusion that despite these fears, I had always enjoyed everything I've done related to medicine and was OK with riding out the journey and growing as a person in the process.

Any other advice/comments/suggestions would be appreciated.

I've been getting anxious enough about these questions lately to notice it's really been bothering me. :/

I started medical school at 25. If I have a 5 year residency, that means I won't be on my own until essentially 35. As far as age goes, I know what you mean.

But as for money, it's a silly way to measure your own happiness. I know that sounds cliche, but its true. As a comfort measure know you'll be making wildly more money as a 1st-year attending than you would as 90% of those other professions do (that includes FAs, lawyers, etc.). And, most importantly, it won't be soul crushing.

I left a job where I was making a lot for a 25 y/o, and was deciding between getting a masters and medical school. Besides enjoying the practice of medicine, for the most part I'd be lucky to top out at a private physicians pay with a masters degree as a consultant (my other option).

Take care of yourself and I doubt your 30s will be much different than the 20s you pay/paid in opportunity cost.

 

[carolinablue]

I started medical school at 25. If I have a 5 year residency, that means I won't be on my own until essentially 35. As far as age goes, I know what you mean.

But as for money, it's a silly way to measure your own happiness. I know that sounds cliche, but its true. As a comfort measure know you'll be making wildly more money as a 1st-year attending than you would as 90% of those other professions do (that includes FAs, lawyers, etc.). And, most importantly, it won't be soul crushing.

I left a job where I was making a lot for a 25 y/o, and was deciding between getting a masters and medical school. Besides enjoying the practice of medicine, for the most part I'd be lucky to top out at a private physicians pay with a masters degree as a consultant (my other option).

Take care of yourself and I doubt your 30s will be much different than the 20s you pay/paid in opportunity cost.

please ellaborate on this....im 23, and my biggest fear is losing myslf after medical school...i have fears that when i can finally be stable and working, ill be fat and bald...and just plain boring....i was in the film industry briefly and it was fun..lots of ups and downs but very interesting..i was living in LA too and basically living the life of a struggling actor haha. If there is anytime for me to pursue the arts, its NOW..while im young..23 and healthy. What the heck do people even do in their 30's besides go to dinner and have lazy sex??? maybe im just expecting to be depressed to much and should let things just happen naturally....but i feel what your going through.


If its true when they say 30 is the new 20, then who cares....but if being in your 30s is gonna be super boring...having a good salary then wont be anything special because you wouldnt even know what to spend that money on.

 

[EgotiStick]

In terms of lifestyle, if you take care of yourself (e.g. your body), then you won't be fat and bald in your 30s when you're "ballin". I know many people in their 30s and even 40s that have no shortage of trim or fun.

You are the sole factor determining your destiny. If you become fat, bald, and boring; its not medicine's fault: Its your own.

 

[Brasco888]

You are the sole factor determining your destiny. If you become fat, bald, and boring; its not medicine's fault: Its your own.

QFT

We are creatures of habit... starting building good ones now.

 

[Daedra22]

What the heck do people even do in their 30's besides go to dinner and have lazy sex??? maybe im just expecting to be depressed to much and should let things just happen naturally....but i feel what your going through.


If its true when they say 30 is the new 20, then who cares....but if being in your 30s is gonna be super boring...having a good salary then wont be anything special because you wouldnt even know what to spend that money on.

Someone hasn't been watching enough Grey's Anatomy.

Seriously, though. I'm not old by any means, but I'm a big believer that your age doesn't determine what you do. You can just as easily be lazy and boring in your 20's - it's a choice.

 

[carolinablue]

Someone hasn't been watching enough Grey's Anatomy.

Seriously, though. I'm not old by any means, but I'm a big believer that your age doesn't determine what you do. You can just as easily be lazy and boring in your 20's - it's a choice.

i have actually never seen grey's anatomy lol

if age didnt determine what you do, michael jordan would be getting his 12th ring next season. I totally understand that you can have the same youthful attitude and outlook on life, but from what i read...your body changes in your thirties...you become weaker, slower, you can get fat easily...and i think its harder to maintain a 6 pack with the stress of work and wife/kids

 

[ucsfstudents]

You'll be fine. Expect thoughts of quitting to come and go at different times during your career. It's natural to see the grass is greener on the other side. In the end though, only you can decide if you should continue on this path.

 

[ArcGurren]

Med school is hard, long, can be full of drama sometimes, and is often physically taxing on your body especially during your 3rd year clinical rotations. You're going to be working with a class who by and large are either as intelligent and hardworking as you or even more so. There will be people in your class who do absolutely nothing and still get 100s on their exams and 260s on their Step 1 because of their photographic memory and then go into derm. And yet those people might still be miserable with what they're doing, waste their money, and end up in horrible debt. There will also be people who struggle mightily to pass their classes and barely get a 222 on their step 1, despite being an amazing clinician who goes on to work as the best hospitalist his future hospital has ever seen. You will likely be somewhere in between, but in the end if you take a good attitude towards it you will be very, very happy with whatever you end up doing for the rest of your life.

My point is, med school can be a very bizarre and very taxing experience, and you should never take anything for granted. You should come into med school interested and ready to learn, and be willing to do anything and have everything interest you. Never keep a closed mind and learn to adapt and enjoy whatever you're doing. Your mental health will be better off for it. And if you have a relationship or a family, make them your first priority along with school, and you will find that maintaining such things really isn't so hard after all.

Is it worth it for me? Absolutely yes.

 

[yamaraja808]

please ellaborate on this....im 23, and my biggest fear is losing myslf after medical school...i have fears that when i can finally be stable and working, ill be fat and bald...and just plain boring....i was in the film industry briefly and it was fun..lots of ups and downs but very interesting..i was living in LA too and basically living the life of a struggling actor haha. If there is anytime for me to pursue the arts, its NOW..while im young..23 and healthy. What the heck do people even do in their 30's besides go to dinner and have lazy sex??? maybe im just expecting to be depressed to much and should let things just happen naturally....but i feel what your going through.


If its true when they say 30 is the new 20, then who cares....but if being in your 30s is gonna be super boring...having a good salary then wont be anything special because you wouldnt even know what to spend that money on.

Well since you are saying this I have got a pretty fun story my friend told me. My friend was a scribe in the ER at a hospital close by to where I live. My friend says the ER docs are super active. There was one physician who flew to Tahiti took a canoe and paddled to an off shore island. My friend said he stayed their for one or two days and then paddled back to Tahiti. There was some part of me that does not buy the story completely but I have seen the physicians there and they are fit!

Also, I was about to join one of the Graice Barra jujistu academy. I actually met a surgeon who was a blue belt (the hours there are pretty flexible so I can see how he is able to come).

Hell, I have a family friend who is a cardiologist and plays badminton 1-2 times a week. And he is 75!

My god man you really don't think you will have a life when you become a doctor. There are a lot of docs who will say otherwise!

 

[ktn699]

somewhere in the application process for med school, did no one ask you: WHY YOU WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR?

Sorry to flame, but if you had done your research you would have known the costs - lengthy training, long hours, inadequate start pay, unappreciative superiors, etc. This is not a secret you learn after getting in... it's well known and quite frankly, you should have seen it coming. Seems like someone was insincere when they said that intellectual curiosity and service to patients were their ideals. Seems like your post is all about pay, vacations, perks, and time off. If you treat your work as a burden then by all means don't work.

Seems like you're also miffed by not getting the acknowledgement you think you deserve from the higher ups. You're forgetting the most important source of appreciation -- the patient. However, don't expect anyone to afford you the deference/respect of a healer and advocate if you're going to think of them as a burden...

 

[mdeast]

somewhere in the application process for med school, did no one ask you: WHY YOU WANT TO BECOME A DOCTOR?

Sorry to flame, but if you had done your research you would have known the costs - lengthy training, long hours, inadequate start pay, unappreciative superiors, etc. This is not a secret you learn after getting in... it's well known and quite frankly, you should have seen it coming. Seems like someone was insincere when they said that intellectual curiosity and service to patients were their ideals. Seems like your post is all about pay, vacations, perks, and time off. If you treat your work as a burden then by all means don't work.

Seems like you're also miffed by not getting the acknowledgement you think you deserve from the higher ups. You're forgetting the most important source of appreciation -- the patient. However, don't expect anyone to afford you the deference/respect of a healer and advocate if you're going to think of them as a burden...

Only in medicine would someone chastise a colleague for desiring respect for their work from co-workers and superiors and that the entire pursuit of medicine is solely and uniformly to sacrifice everything for your patient. Also, nowhere in the post did I see the OP mention that patients were a burden...rather than he felt more uncomfortable about the culture of the rest of medicine and medical education.

Sorry to flame you back. But, the OP already mentioned his apprehension before going to medical school (as all of us should have at least thought about), notes that he loves seeing patients, but has been bogged down by the learning environment and comparing his life to others who took different paths. It's also safe to assume that despite any amount of volunteer work you do, shadowing, etc. nothing quite prepares you to understand what it's like to practice medicine and to be a medical student. As a medical student, I know this. I think this post was meant for advice, not criticism. This attitude is frankly the reason why some students are fearful to voice their internal concerns and apprehensions because of quick judgement by peers...which ultimately might lead to both unhappy doctors who haven't found their balance and patients who are getting care from someone who isn't at the top of their game. Calm down the hate.

My advice is to stick it out. As with any job, I think you'll appreciate it more once you build the knowledge base and can see what you can do with your skills. You like patients/science/medicine and this is the key essential part of being a physician. You already seem to be able to maintain much more balance than most medical students I know, so obviously you're doing something right. Keep in mind ultimate goals (both professional and personal). Our advisors in medical school stress that residency selection is not a gut feeling. It's practically sitting down and assessing what is going to make you happy as a physician, but also happy as a person. Know yourself and the answer will come.