The medical journey offers many opportunities to make some big moves, whether it’s to start medical school, residency, fellowship, or for that first “real” job. A move, especially one across the country, requires a good deal of planning. You will undoubtedly have many questions. How do I move my stuff? How do I find a place to live? What about my cars? The list goes on and on.
If your spouse’s medical studies have recently brought you to a new city, or to a new community within a familiar city, you will need to search for new friends and support groups. Medical school is not about being “strong” and pushing through all the hard stuff. It’s about having people to lean on when the going gets tough.
Building yourself a new community and ﬁnding friends, especially those that you hope to be able to share your delightful, as well as dark moments with, is not an easy task. However, it is a necessary one!
Valentine’s Day can be hard for med students, medical professionals, and their spouses because all the other couples are out and about with their special someone. Where is your special someone? Your “person” in the wise words of Meredith Grey, is currently on call at the ER and just texted you during a moment of sanity (miracles do happen) to tell you that due to the high influx of patients they won’t be home that night…even though they worked the previous 6 nights. Sound familiar? “Wait, you don’t know what time your husband will come home every night?” Actually no, no I don’t. “You spent your weekend studying?” Of course! Doesn’t it sound like fun to spend every moment of your waking hours at the library? “Can you guys go out tonight?” Please define “out” and could you set specific parameters on how long we will be gone and when it will be socially acceptable for us to leave to sleep or study once again.
Happy New Year from Student Doctor Network! I have always loved the beginning of a new year. It’s a time to reflect on the past, look ahead to the future, find a fresh perspective on your life and situation, and create new wishes for yourself and your family going forward. There is an electricity that surrounds us and gives us hope that not only can we achieve what we’re dreaming of, but we can also find more happiness and fun in our lives.
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By Amy Rakowczyk
One thing is certain during medical school: your medical spouse is going to study and work a lot of hours. This is a necessary part of becoming a doctor. They need years of studying, preparing, and training in order to be able to perform the job. The time required means that you, the medical student spouse/partner, will have less time with them. There will be fewer hours when they are available. That is the hard reality.
It’s easy to start thinking about how unfair this is. You are left with gaping holes of time and are by default in charge of all the non-medical school items. You are working harder too, with less support. The unfairness of it can quickly turn into resentment and bitterness.
By Amy Rakowczyk, SDN Staff Writer
When my husband and I arrived in our new city of Columbus, Ohio for him to begin his medical training, we didn’t know what to expect, but we knew we wanted one thing for sure: to find other people in our same situation and develop some friendships.
My husband is prior military, so we had grown accustomed to joining “Family Support Groups” at each new military station. It was like a ready-made family, already created for you, all you had to do was show up.